Crescent Moon
by boredcreampuff
Summary: Remus Lupin has been trying desperately to avoid the war despite his best friends daydreaming about fighting. Narelle Atterberry, on the other hand, has found that the terror and reality is poisoning her own. Together, they learn to escape it and struggle through growing up and losing their home-Hogwarts. Little do they know, it may be gone as quickly as it came.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:**_ This is my first-ever published fic, and I've worked extremely hard on it! I want to credit some parts of the story to my RP partner-she knows who she is, and she's helped me with this story more than she knows! I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. xo, A

War settled in on the wizarding world like a blanket of soot. It settled in the nooks and crannies of Diagon Alley, in the teacups of the small villages, in the folds of the Ministry's clothes. The fear was ever-present, constantly lingering on the edges of everyone's vision. Every week, there was a new story in The Daily Prophet about Lord Voldemort's most recent attack or leaked plans. The stories and fear seemed to be the same every day—the terror was now just _there_ , just like the moon.

Remus Lupin contemplated this on the 30th of August, sitting cross-legged on his friend's bed as he scanned The Daily Prophet. It was starting to become a game: how many pages of wasted ink before he could find something lighthearted? He flipped past pictures of the minister, a freshly blown-up house, a weeping family, before stumbling across some Quidditch news. _Four_ , he thought indignantly, swallowing a mouthful of a scone.

The Potter house was full of animated noises, as usual. James was standing in the bathroom, the sink running as he attempted to comb his unruly hair. Sirius was downstairs, chatting with Mrs. Potter, who was getting ready for work, while Mr. Potter was loudly slurping his coffee. Peter never came to James' house early for the school year but, rather, spent the entire summer at his mother's side. She was quickly withering, along with the rest of the world, so Peter took every chance he could to be with her.

"Moony," James called from the bathroom, poking his head out to look at his friend. Remus glanced up, his mouth full of scone, the paper splayed in front of him.

"Huh?"

"How does it look?"

James looked desperately at Remus, who examined his friend's hair. All he could think was that it looked… interesting. He had tried to comb the back down and the front to the back, very 1960s. Yet, the cowlicks still stuck up, making him look a bit like a peacock.

"Put it back," Remus said sternly, shaking his head. James immediately groaned, returning to the bathroom. Remus couldn't help but grin, looking back down at his paper.

Downstairs, Sirius could be heard grabbing a pan and telling Mrs. Potter "don't worry" over and over. Which, in any case, was a cause for worry. Yet, Mr. and Mrs. Potter responded with "okay, okay" and then a mix of "have a good day" and "see you tonight." There was the unmistakable sound of flame erupting, crackling and licking up the chimney, and then silence.

"It won't stay down," James whined, walking out of the bathroom and flopping down on his bed in front of Remus, who eyed him. Remus always wondered what their classmates thought when they saw James. Was it him in his Quidditch robes? Him in a jumper and jeans, chatting with Lily Evans who looked as if she'd rather shove his head through a wall than talk to him? This James, the one in a paint-stained shirt and plaid pajama pants, was what Remus always saw. Dejected, hair dripping, pouting like a little kid as he stared at the ceiling. "Doesn't matter how much water I use, and _Merlin forbid_ I try to use some magic on it. Either way, it's just up in the back. Have you noticed?"

"Why do you care?" Remus asked casually, looking back at the paper. There was a photo of the headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, with the headline _**CHANGES AT HOGWARTS?**_ Remus wrinkled his nose, quickly flicking the page.

"I'm growing up," James sighed, his hazel eyes dropping onto Remus. The moon was waxing and, with it, Remus' healthy complexion was waning. "I can't just have this crazy hair, you know? I'm 16. We've got two years left of school. How can I fight you-know-who when I look like a child?"

"You're not going to fight you-know-who," Remus said matter-of-fact. There was a column on tricky cooking recipes made easy with _one simple spell!_ He flicked the page. "You're right. You're 16. You can't expect to just waltz out into the world like, Hey, I'm James Potter, and I'm here to singlehandedly fight you-know-who!"

James' expression was very clearly disappointment as he stared at Remus, who refused to look up and meet his eye. The two butted heads with the very subject of the war constantly. James wanted to do exactly that—to waltz out into the world and give the Death Eaters a piece of his mind. Or, better yet, a few spells to chew on if they still had teeth when he was done with them. It was conversations like this that made Remus really question, deep down, if this was just another sign of him not being a good Gryffindor. He glanced up, but James had looked away by then, staring back up at the ceiling. From downstairs, they could faintly hear Sirius belting out a song. The smell of bacon and pancakes wafted from the kitchen and Remus couldn't help but smile.

"Moony," James said quietly, and Remus folded the paper, sensing the serious tone in his voice. "We've only got two years of school left. It's a bit terrifying, yeah?"

Remus forced a reassuring smile.

"It's just sixth year, Prongs," he said gently. "No need to get your panties in a bunch."

It was this very thought, however, that was causing Narelle Atterberry to panic in the heart of London.

There seemed to be so much noise going on—the rowdiness of her neighbors getting ready for Notting Hill, her cat meowing loudly, her best friend snoring in bed beside her. All of the noise felt like it was too much, like it was caving in on her. As carefully as she could, she crawled out of bed and tip-toed out the door and down the stairs, bee-lining to the kitchen.

The beginning of school was always stressful. There was always money to get from her mom, always more things to pack, always books to buy. Luckily, she and her friend Aria Kilburne had purchased everything they needed from Diagon Alley the previous day. Her books were still piled on the round kitchen table, taunting her with the upcoming decisions she would have to make. It felt as though she was grasping onto golden thread with an ever-spinning spool, something completely out of her control, as it unraveled and fell to her feet.

Dahlia meowed again, rubbed against Narelle's leg, but she barely even noticed. She was too busy rummaging around her fridge for eggs and butter. Cooking was a self-defense mechanism. It was something that she _could_ control, something she could focus all of her attention on.

As she whisked eggs and cinnamon together, she glanced at The Daily Prophet that had been dropped onto her counter. On the front page, the Minister of Magic looked ashamed and turned away from the cameras, the headline crying _**PLANS FOR YOU-KNOW-WHO**_. Every day, it was just war. Narelle searched the photo to see if she could find a familiar face in the group of ministry workers—wavy dark hair, her nose, dark brown eyes. Her eyes lingered on the paper a moment longer before turning away, pouring the French toast mixture onto a deep plate. As she began to busy herself with cutting slices of bread off of a baguette, the stairs creaked as Aria tiredly walked down the stairs.

"Are you making breakfast?" Aria yawned from behind Narelle, who began dipping the bread into the plate.

"Mmhm. Can you make some coffee?"

Aria walked into the kitchen while Narelle readied a pan, spreading butter onto it as it heated up. They worked silently beside each other—Aria grabbing the French press, Narelle plopping a slice of bread onto the pan. It had been like this for a few days, just the two of them inside Narelle's house. Her mother was always away, always on some strange marijuana-fueled adventure. She sent Narelle money on a regular basis by use of her "talents", which Narelle bitterly referred to as "scams." Aria learned to not ask about it after their 4th year. Instead, she stood by her friend's side, making coffee and urging her to eat.

"Are you okay?" Aria asked gently, glancing at Narelle from the corner of her eye. The French toast sizzled pleasantly, the entire kitchen now smelling of coffee and vanilla.

"As okay as I am every year," Narelle said simply, flashing her friend a small smile.

"It's just 6th year," Aria said softly, pushing down on the press. Narelle snorted a bit, a noise she let out quite often, flipping the piece of toast over.

"I know," she said quietly. "That's why it's terrifying. We're going into N.E.W.T-level classes this year. Sure, I did okay on my O. , but I don't even know what I want to _do_. And here they are, telling us that we need to figure out what we're doing as well as deal with all of the random deaths brought by some big-headed dark wizard."

"That's why I'm becoming an auror," Aria declared proudly, pouring Narelle a cup of coffee, who was staring at her friend in horror. An auror? She could barely imagine Aria trying to be stealthy and fighting dark wizards. The next words out of Aria's mouth shocked Narelle even more: "I think you should, too."

Narelle stared at her friend. Aria still looked so much like a teenager—her mess of curls was dyed a fire-red color, erupting around her like a mane. It looked so bright against her espresso skin, her dark eyes wide and glittering. She had the arrogance of a 16-year-old, as well as the feeling of invincibility. Narelle was sure that, deep down, she was the same, but she was so much tamer compared to her best friend. Ideas like this, like diving head-first into a war, were what got people killed.

She held her breath for a moment, trying to pick the correct words. Exhaled.

"Can you grab the syrup for me?" was all Narelle said, her voice soft, as she opened a cupboard to pull out some plates.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus has managed to escape the war as best he could throughout the summer despite it plastered on The Daily Prophet. His father, who worked in the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, would even barely talk about the war despite facing it every day. Dark creatures were steadily joining you-know-who. Remus' father said it was because you-know-who was offering them the chance at equality within his world, the chance of power. It sent shivers up his spine, made him cringe when he looked at his scars, so he tried to not focus on it. Yet, as the Marauders stepped onto platform 9 ¾ on September 1st, he was suddenly surrounded by murmurs and concerned faces.

The Marauders quickly found Peter, who looked exhausted as he broke away from his parents. Peter was prone to complaining and, thus, took up the attention of James and Sirius while Remus walked behind the three. He smiled gently at some Gryffindors in his year as they waded through the Hogwarts Express, suddenly self-conscious of his brand new prefect badge. It shone proudly on the chest of his beige jumper—he had put it on before they left, feeling rather confident, but now fumbled to get it off.

They heard plenty of conversations as they passed by, but none as loud as a Hufflepuff in their year exclaiming about the war, pretending to be hushed. Her blond hair was in two twin braids, falling over each shoulder, her deep brown eyes looking pretty energetic for someone who was talking about the recent events.

"Rumor has it that Dumbledore's cancelling Hogsmeade visits," the girl exclaimed to two other Hufflepuffs in their year. The taller of the two looked unimpressed, her hair fire-red and contrasting brightly against her dark skin. Remus immediately recognized her as Aria Kilburne, her curls last year being predominantly purple and blue. The girl next to her was a few inches shorter, her dark, wavy hair pulled back and a somalin cat held firmly in her arms. She looked rather nervous as she listened to the blond Hufflepuff, who Peter murmured was Janine McCormick. He then made a crude joke about how her big-mouthed habit wasn't just for words, and Remus shot him a scolding glare.

"I doubt that he will," Aria said with a roll of her eyes. The other Hufflepuff—who Remus couldn't put a name to at that moment—shifted from foot to foot.

"I hope not," she murmured, pressing her lips together and glancing up from Janine's eager expression. Her eyes landed on the Marauders. Specifically James, and she frowned.

 _Oh._ Remus thought as they walked by, the Hufflepuff maintaining her look on James before glancing at Aria. The no-name Hufflepuff had gotten into a _very_ heated argument with James the previous year in Divination. It earned her quite a few odd looks for about a month afterwards. No one was really prone to yelling at James except for Lily Evans, but Lily had a better reason than Divination, Remus thought.

Narelle watched the four boys pass by, frowning at James Potter as he laughed loudly at something.

"Calm down, Rellie," Janine giggled gently, following her gaze. "With a look like that, you'd be sure you were ready to bite his head off."

"He's a git," Narelle said matter-of-fact, frowning before leading the other two girls in the opposite direction. "I mean, honestly. He's too busy getting off on the idea that he'll single-handedly end the war. That, and Quidditch. And the redhead who used to be prone to shouting at him on the lawn. He probably daydreams about sacrificing himself for the whole of the wizarding world." She punctuated her statement by pushing open the door of an empty compartment, walking in with a rather agitated look on her face. She flopped down into the compartment, laying Dahlia in her lap. Aria had a barn owl while Janine had an unusually small toad, and they set their animal's cages down by the door before sitting down themselves.

"He's quite interesting," Janine nodded, "but not nearly as interesting at Lupin."

"What, the prefect?" Aria snorted. "Have you seen him? He's a total square."

"I heard someone say he's a vampire. That's why he's so pale."

"Oh, yeah, because _Dumbledore_ would let anyone other than a regular wizard attend Hogwarts. Sure, Janine."

Aria rolled her eyes, looking at Narelle with an "are you hearing this?" look on her face. Narelle shook her head, looking out the window, watching the sea of parents tearfully say farewell to all of the students. She leaned closer to the window, craning her neck to see all of the brand-new students lean out, waving. The train whistled, smoke billowing over the top of the train, and the wheels began to groan. It was a scene right out of an old movie—the train leaving, some parents running along with it, kids shouting goodbye. The sound of the train drowned out their cries of farewell, though, and Narelle faintly wondered if they knew this was their last goodbye for months.

She was sure she saw wavy dark hair on a tall man for a split second, but then the station was gone.

Settling into the Hufflepuff dorms was rather easy for Narelle. The comforting, sunshine-like glow felt like home as Narelle and Aria bee-lined to the common room after dinner. Janine had stayed after to chat with a Ravenclaw in their year named Oliver, urging her friends to leave without her. Almost too gratefully, they did, tapping out "Helga Hufflepuff" onto the barrels before walking through the tunnels.

Aria said hello to some of their classmates in the common room, but Narelle continued on to the girl's dorms. Their room was as cozy as she had remember—fluffy quilts on their beds, round windows overlooking the grounds, plants hanging from the ceiling, a soft fire. Narelle's bed was always on the far right, right by the biggest window, and she hurried over. Dahlia had already curled up at the foot of the bed, sleeping softly. Aria followed along, talking to the other two girls in their dorm, but Narelle was already busy putting up photos in her small area.

First was a photo of her mom focused on a crystal ball with long, blond hair, dripping in necklaces and bracelets. Second, she put up an old photo of her parents from when they had been together in Hogwarts. Her dad towered over her mom, grinning toothily, his dark wavy hair a mess on his head. They both wore Gryffindor robes, looking more proud than Narelle had ever seen a student. The other photos were less memorable, but still important—Narelle, Aria, and Aria's younger sister Katya, all grinning in front of a ferris wheel. Aria's dad and Aria throwing flour at each other. The view from Narelle's window at home. Narelle and Aria grinning side-by-side, circa 2nd year, wearing their Hufflepuff robes.

Decorating was Narelle's way of grasping back onto her life at Hogwarts. The first night, she always grew so anxious she couldn't sleep. So, instead, she organized her things and readied her bag for the next day. Janine came back soon, and then the four other girls went to bed. It wasn't long before Narelle slept too, her new Divination book tucked under her arm. When she awoke, the sun was out and dandelions swayed outside the windows.

The first morning of classes went the same every year:

Narelle got up before the others and slowly dressed into her uniform, taking her time to tie and straighten out her tie. She brushed her hair before pulling it up into it's regular, stubby ponytail. Next, she woke up Aria who protested loud enough to wake the other girls, and Narelle quickly brushed her teeth before Janine hogged the bathroom. Then, after she helped Aria gather her things, the two set off to breakfast, yawning and sleepy-eyed.

The Great Hall was alive with chatter, the first years looking rather nervous. As always, Narelle poured herself some coffee and poured Aria some orange juice while Aria placed food on their plates. They talked about nonsense, Aria going on and on about a dream she had, as Professor Sprout began passing out schedules. The two girls smiled sweetly when handed theirs before immediately comparing.

"We have all of the same classes," Aria pointed out, her eyes scanning over Narelle's schedule for the third time. Narelle yawned, pushing her bangs up as she stared at the paper in her hand.

"Divination isn't until the end of the day," she said with a disappointed tone. "And—look at this—we have Transfiguration first. Are they _trying_ to make me fail?"

"At least it's only three times a week," Aria pointed out, to which Narelle scrunched up her nose.

"Then Defense… then break, Charms, and Divination. And potions twice a week first thing. I suppose that's not too bad."

Janine hurried up to them suddenly, her blond hair in soft curls, grinning as she slid into a seat across from them.

"You two remember Frank Longbottom, right? Remember him? You'll never guess—apparently he and _Alice_ had a _fling_ over the summer!" Janine gasped excitedly, immediately going on a gossiping spiel about the two while Aria and Narelle half listened.

Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table, Remus watched as Sirius nearly fell asleep in his bacon. The four of them weren't the most lively bunch first thing in the morning, especially with James frowning at his schedule in comparison to the other three. So far, the only classes they for sure had together were Potions and Charms. James, Remus, and Sirius all had identical schedules, but Peter was veering off on a different path.

"You're not taking Defense," James pointed out, side-eyeing Peter, who was ravenously eating his eggs.

"Not interested," Peter murmured, as if that was a good enough explanation for James "Throw Yourself into the Middle of War" Potter, who frowned heavily. Remus watched, ready to pounce on the budding of a fight, poking at his eggs so the yolk oozed out.

"How can you not be interested?" James asked, sounding exasperated. "It's probably the most important subject that they teach here, especially now. What if something bad happens in Hogwarts? You're going to _die_ without this knowledge, Wormtail. Instead, you're taking _bloody history?_ " Remus leaned forward to peer at the schedule while Sirius snorted out a laugh, pushing his plate forward and resting his head on the table.

"It's basically extended nap time," Peter grinned, not even looking up from his breakfast. He ripped a piece of bacon in half before chewing aggressively on it. The older he got, the more violent he seemed to get with the simplest things.

"I can't believe it," James said softly, looking dumbfounded before dropping Peter's schedule on the table with an air of finality. He handed Remus' schedule back to him, who was mopping up his egg yolk with a piece of toast. "Moony's got the right idea here. Transfiguration, potions, charms, and defense. That's the schedule of a man ready to take on the world."

"You have the same schedule as me," Remus pointed out, not accepting the flattery. James just grinned in response.

"It's the schedule of a _man_ , Moony."

Classes were uneventful it seemed for the entire school. There was no mention of the war for the majority of Narelle's classes, as well as Remus', and the two were simultaneously elated. During break and lunch, Narelle and Aria gathered up a study plan for the rest of the year while the Marauders wandered the school, passing prank ideas back and forth. James was itching to get to Defense Against the Dark Arts, and it was plain as Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors collided in Professor Flitwick's classroom. The 6th years filed into the familiar room, chatting lightheartedly as they found their seats. The Marauders were rambunctious as usual, causing an unappreciative stare from a few of their classmates, but they didn't seem to notice.

Flitwick's start-of-the-year speech had dwindled over the years. He still stood on top of a stack of books, his voice still squeaking and obnoxious as any other year, but his excitable attitude had darkened. He looked more tired, more worn, and this did not go unnoticed by Narelle. He spoke about the same things as all of the other professors had that day. They were now in N.E.W.T-level classes and were expected to keep up with their homework. The workload was going to be much heavier, they said. They were going to be treated like adults, they said. All of the talk about their school careers being "nearly through" made Narelle anxious and she began impatiently tapping her quill on her parchment.

"We will be focusing mostly on non-verbal charms and concentration!" Flitwick exclaimed, trying to withhold his usual excited mannerisms. "It is a very large step in a magical person's life, and—"

He was cut off, however, by James Potter. He raised his hand and spoke without permission, as you do.

"Are we going to be working on defensive or offensive charms?" he asked, loud and clear.

"Jesus Christ," Narelle murmured, rolling her eyes at Aria.

The classroom was suddenly filled with an awkward silence, Flitwick staring at the boy. James' face was that of nearly-complete seriousness aside from the small smirk on his face. Narelle raised her eyebrows despite sitting two rows behind him.

"Well, Mr. Potter, those are for Defense Against the Dark Arts—" Professor Flitwick started, but James interrupted him again.

"Sure, but I think we should be focusing on spells like that in _all_ of our classes," James stated with a dismissive wave of his hand, as if Flitwick should _know_ that. Obviously. "Pardon my bluntness, Professor, but there's a darn _war_ going on, shouldn't we be focusing our energy on saving ourselves?" Professor Flitwick opened his mouth to speak, growing flustered, but James pushed on. "Honestly, you-know-who could probably take out the entire wizarding world if he wanted to. You've read the papers. Whoever he is, he's batty, and we need an army the size of our school to fight him, don't you think?"

James' babbling had sent the classroom into an uncomfortable silence at the first mention of the war. Everything had been going so smoothly, as if it was just any regular year at Hogwarts, and he was crashing that small hope. Narelle—livid as she were at his outburst—understood that completely shutting up about the war was naïve, but since when did people care about naïveté?

"So many people have _died_ already, and we could be next," James continued. Remus glanced around, noticing the faces of their uncomfortable classmates.

"Prongs," he hissed with a tone of warning as he watched his friend. But James barreled on, fueled by his unnerving desire to save the world. Flitwick looked horrified, as if this exact topic was covered in a staff meeting before classes started. Remus could just hear Professor McGonagall; _Now, whatever you do, do_ not _mention the war, or I'll turn you into a teacup myself!_

"Non-verbal spells are a good thing to learn, but you know what else is good? Stunning spells. Defensive spells. Offensive spells. You know, things that can save _our lives_ —"

Yet, Potter's words were cut off by a quiet but stern voice from behind him:

"Oh, shove off, Potter."

James looked over his shoulder at the culprit, his eyes landing on a flushed Hufflepuff whose first name he couldn't remember. Her last name, however, he could think of, after a month of teasing her the previous year for her same knack of telling him to shut up. He raised an eyebrow at her, studying her for a second. Her dark hair was pulled back, but a few strands had fallen around her face, and her cheeks were flushed. She always looked more surprised at her own speaking out than anyone else was.

"What was that, Atterberry?" he spat back, scowling.

"Now, now—" Flitwick started, but Narelle was already shooting James down.

"Save it for defense," she shot back, narrowing her eyes. "Let the poor man talk before you start scaring everyone with the war and death and famine. Jesus, it's only the first day."

James stared at her a moment longer, debating getting into another argument, but Remus hissed his name. The dark-haired boy looked at his friend, his prefect badge glinting and eyes dark, before sneering and turning back. Flitwick seemed to deflate with relief before shakily continuing on with what he was saying, Remus glancing over his shoulder at the now-flustered Hufflepuff. Her eyes were firmly on her paper, Aria Kilburne snickering beside her as she half-listened to the Professor.


	3. Chapter 3

Narelle couldn't sleep. She couldn't dare to sleep. School was finally getting into the swing of things, but everything still seemed _off_. She lay in bed one night, listening to the gentle patter of rain on the round windows, trying to will herself to sleep. The closer she got to rest, though, the more she thought about her parents. Her mother always sent her a letter towards the beginning of school… and her dad… Where was he, anyway?

Her anxiety slowly grew until she felt like she was suffocating under the covers. Finally, she threw her blankets off of her and quietly stepped out of bed. All of the girls were still fast asleep. Grabbing her wand, she gently maneuvered out of the dorm room, through the tunnel, and out the common room. The halls of Hogwarts were strangely refreshing, the sound of rain louder when surrounded by stone, and she began to walk aimlessly.

Thunder rumbled gently outside, leaves falling from the changing trees. Narelle's footsteps were nearly silent as she wandered around the school, her arms crossed and wand lit. The only thing on her mind was the war and the strange feeling in the castle. Everyone was talking about it now, but only in hushed voices. Whoever the perpetrator was, he was building an army. The deaths were seldom and small, something that everyone was assuming would be taken care of by the Ministry and the beginner Aurors. Radios were on constantly in common rooms, although faintly, and more and more students were reading The Daily Prophet. Every morning, Narelle's eyes scanned over all of the different headlines about where you-know-who would strike next. The infamous title without a name left everyone anxiously puzzling: _who was he?_

She tried not to think of it. She tried to focus on the rain, on her footsteps, as she walked up stairs. Everything was going to be fine, she was sure of it. She took a deep breath before turning down a corridor, only to be greeted by the unmistakable blinding of a wand.

"Shit!" she hissed, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the light.

"What do you think you're doing?" a familiar voice demanded, quietly but sternly.

Narelle squinted as whoever held the wand lowered it and stepped closer. Remus Lupin's face came into view, staring tiredly at the girl in front of him. They both stood there for a second, staring at each other in confusion. His sandy-brown hair was mussed, his green eyes tired, and he wore a beige jumper over a t-shirt and baggy pajama pants. The shiniest thing about him was his crimson and gold prefect badge standing proudly over his heart. Narelle looked just as much like a mess, with her wavy hair fluffed around her head. She was in a baggy, old Gryffindor shirt and pajama shorts. She watched him raise an eyebrow at her shirt in slight confusion before making eye contact.

"Atterberry," he said carefully, as if worried he was going to mess up her name, "there is no way you're unaware that it's past hour—"

"I—I had night terrors," she stammered, widening her eyes. _Merlin_ , she thought, staring at him earnestly, _so much for being an honest Hufflepuff_.

His expression went from stern and agitated to complete understanding. Narelle's heart sank slightly; she didn't deserve this empathy. She watched him carefully as he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. He looked pale and tired and she almost sent him up to bed as if she were the Prefect in this situation.

"Alright, come on," he said tiredly, gesturing to where Narelle had come from. "I'll walk you back to your dorm."

"Oh," she responded awkwardly, watching him walk past her, falling into step beside him. "Thanks, Lupin."

He gave her a sidelong glance at the sound of his last name, but didn't say anything. Narelle's eyes fell to the ground as they awkwardly walked side-by-side in silence. The rain grew louder and the thunder continued to rumble, echoing gently in the hallways. The stone wasn't really good for insulation, causing Narelle to shiver slightly as they walked to her common room. It was nearly on the other side of the castle, and she faintly realized she ended up on the fourth floor.

The closer they got, the more Remus noticed her shivering. He glanced at her, watching her press her lips together in thought and look down at her sock-clad feet. He let out an involuntary sigh.

"Stop," he said, stopping in his tracks as well. Narelle did the same, looking at him in worry. He placed his wand between his teeth and pulled his prefect badge off of his jumper. As soon as he did so, he pulled the jumper off, but not gracefully. He nearly dropped his wand from his teeth, trying to mutter a swear as he pulled it off of his head. He smoothed out his long-sleeved shirt before holding out the jumper. "I can't have you freeze to death while I'm escorting you back. Too much paperwork."

Narelle couldn't help but let out a faint laugh, taking the jumper with a small "thanks". She pulled it on, the entire thing being a bit too long what with Remus being a good half of a foot taller than her. He snorted slightly at the sight of her and she felt herself blush with embarrassment. First getting caught out of bed, then getting laughed at by a prefect? And not just any prefect, but a _Marauder?_ The four Marauders had a consistent issue of being, to put it bluntly, super rude and in-the-know. Narelle didn't want to be a part of anything that was interesting enough to be gossiped about amongst the four of them.

"I get nightmares too, you know," Remus said gently as they walked. Narelle hadn't even noticed he had said something; too busy being irritated over the thought of James Potter snickering about her.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" she stammered, looking at him. He flushed with embarrassment, feeling stupid for saying anything.

"You said you had night terrors," he explained awkwardly, sliding his free hand in his pocket, shrugging up his shoulders. "And I said I get nightmares too."

"Well, I mean, _everyone_ gets nightmares," Narelle said carefully, raising a dark eyebrow at him. He sighed slightly.

"Obviously," he chuckled nervously. This conversation was not going well. "But, nightmares that are bad enough to make you walk four floors past your common room? That's something." He flashed her a grin that was meant to be reassuring, but just looked knowing to Narelle. She shrugged, fiddling with the sleeves of his jumper.

"I walk fast," she explained, flashing him a grin before looking outside, watching lightning curl against the clouds.

They were silent again as they hurried down the stairs, finally passing by the Great Hall towards the Hufflepuff common room. Narelle was growing even more tired as they walked, starting to yawn. When they approached the stacks of barrels, they slowed to a stop.

"If I see you out of bed at this time of night again, Atterberry, I won't hesitate to give you detention," Remus said, sounding like this was rehearsed. She began to wonder how many kids he let off of the hook. _Next time_ , she could hear him say, smiling gently at a first year.

"Roger that," she said tiredly. "I'll see you around then."

He flashed her an awkward smile before walking away. Narelle tapped out the pattern, sneaking into the girl's dorms. All of the girls were asleep except for Aria, who stirred when Narelle gently shut the door. The girl propped herself up on her elbows, her hair a mess as she watched Narelle tip-toe to her bed. It wasn't until she climbed under the covers that she realized she still had his jumper on. Flushing, she quickly pulled it off and dropped it on the side of her bed, catching Aria's eye.

"Don't ask," she whispered to her friend, who was smirking, before pulling the drapes around her bed and rolling over.


	4. Chapter 4

The day after Narelle and Remus had run into each other she looked even more tired than before. Her eyes were still closed when she sat up and stretched, yawning. First, she lazily threw her feet over the side of the bed, awaiting the cold hardwood floor—

 _What the hell is that?_

Narelle cracked her eyes open and looked down at the crumpled up, beige jumper underneath her feet. Somehow, one of her socks had managed to come off, revealing her yellow-painted toenails. Aria was already up and fluffing her hair, glancing at Narelle as she leaned down to pick up the jumper. She held it in her hands, shocked by the sudden smell of _boy_ coming off of this. It took her a second before she realized who's it was.

"Oh God," she groaned. Noticing it was inside-out, she started to fix it, her movements slow.

"Where'd you go last night, Rellie?" Aria teased, snatching the jumper from her friend's hands. Narelle leapt up, grabbing for it.

"Come on, Aria, give that back!" she begged.

The commotion caused the attention from some of the girls already awake in the dorm. Namely Janine, who poked her blond head out of the bathroom, her toothbrush in her mouth.

"Wha's tha?" she called around her toothbrush.

"A sweater! From a boy!" Aria laughed, holding it up. Narelle successfully grabbed it from her finally, shooting her friend a glare. She immediately went to neatly folding it, her cheeks bright red. Aria grinned deviously as Janine stepped out, leaning against the doorframe and continuing to brush her teeth. "Baby Rellie here snuck out for one of her nightly walks—you know the ones—and came back wearing that. She was half-asleep when she got back at around, what? Three in the morning?" Aria raised a teasing eyebrow at Narelle, who dropped the folded jumper on her bed with what she hoped looked like disgust.

"It's nothing," she said simply, striding over to her trunk. She pulled out her robes and started dressing into them.

"You snuck out to see a boy!" Janine cried happily, grinning at Narelle. She strode over to the sweater, her freshly-curled hair bouncing. Immediately, she began inspecting it for tags and names on it.

Narelle tried to ignore the two girls as they passed conspiracies back and forth. _Maybe it's Oliver—you know, the Ravenclaw who used to help her with Defense homework? No, no, it's_ got _to be Harold in 7_ _th_ _year, they always chat in the common room. Harold! Geez, Janine, Narelle's got better taste than that_. She watched the two of them as she tied her necktie and pulled her hair up. Whenever she glanced at the jumper in question, the only thing that came to mind was Remus Lupin talking to her about nightmares. What kind of boy just takes night terrors as a reasonable response and rolls with it? No one, she was sure, but the earnest look in his eye made her believe him. At least, just the smallest bit.

"Tell us, Narelle, please!" Janine begged Narelle, walking up to her with a pout. Her brown eyes were big.

"No," she said simply, grabbing her bag. "Come on, I need coffee."

Remus woke up to the usual sound of his best friends laughing. Which, to him, was still strange, as he was always the one to wake up first. He pushed the drapes aside, squinting against the slight light pouring in. The sky was still cloudy from the rainstorm the night before and he yawned, getting out of bed. James and Peter were attempting a battle of puns while Sirius laughed, pulling his robes on. James burst into a fit of laughter at a joke that Peter exclaimed, and then looked quite proud as he watched his friend turned red. They were all dressed in their school robes, ready for the day. Remus frowned, confused, and checked his watch. He had woken up almost a whole half hour later than usual, and immediately swore, diving to his trunk and pulling out his school robes. Sirius caught his eye and grinned.

"Long night, Moony?" he teased, letting his tie remain loose around his neck. Remus flushed with embarrassment. He was always up early. Always, always, always.

"Just prefect rounds," he muttered, trying to quickly get dressed.

"You were back pretty late for rounds," Peter pointed out. His face seemed to be growing rounder with the years, unlike the rest of the boys who were quickly losing their baby fat.

"I had to escort someone back to their common room," he stated simply, pulling his cardigan over his head. He stumbled over to his mirror, adjusting his collar before attempting to tie his necktie. There were dark circles under his eyes with lack of sleep, his sandy-brown hair a mess, his green eyes looking dull. He took a deep breath, trying to comb through his hair with his fingers. "Why didn't any of you wake me up?" he asked breathlessly, smoothing out his robes before turning back to his friends.

He caught his friends all sharing a slightly worried look, immediately furrowing his brows.

"What?" he asked slowly, reaching up to his hair. "Is there something wrong?"

"Nah," James said dismissively, waving his hand slightly. He stood, tossing Remus his shoes. "Are you ready for food or what?" he grinned.

The four of them walked down to the Great Hall together, seeming to forget the awkwardness of the morning. Despite being tired from being up so late the previous night, Remus still laughed along with the Marauders. They seemed to be a ball of energy as they passed through the hall. Before they reached the Great Hall, Sirius muttered to them something about being right back before splitting off to chat with a Ravenclaw girl who had caught his eye recently. Peter snorted quietly.

"You'd think he'd have better things to think about, what with the war and everything," he said with a shake of his head. James shrugged, looking after his best friend for a second before they walked into the hall.

"Hey, we've all got our distractions," James said pointedly, raising his dark eyebrows at Peter.

Remus was quiet as they sat down, yawning. He poured himself some pumpkin juice, gathering himself some potatoes, toast, and eggs before passing food to his friends. He ate quietly while James and Peter discussed something, glancing up.

He didn't mean to look at her. Not really, anyway. But his eyes landed on Narelle Atterberry, laughing at something her friend had said, a cup of coffee held firmly between her hands. Her hair was pulled back, as usual, but she looked more tired. He assumed it was for the same reason as him, despite the fact that she was having night terrors. Or so he thought, anyway.

Narelle had the strange feeling suddenly that someone was watching her and glanced in the direction of where she assumed it was. Her eyes immediately fell on the green eyes of Remus Lupin who looked at her as though she were something to be studied. Her immediate reaction was to furrow her eyebrows, but smiled awkwardly and gave him a small wave. He looked surprised for just a second, hesitating before waving back. This caught James' attention, who then followed his gaze to Narelle, raising his dark eyebrows.

"No way," Janine said suddenly. Narelle looked over at her.

"What?"

"Remus Lupin?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is that a _Marauder's_ sweater in our dorm?"

"Jesus, Janine," Narelle laughed awkwardly, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her coffee. "We have class together, what's so wrong with waving at him? We made eye contact, it'd be more awkward to not."

Janine and Aria, however, were unconvinced, raising their eyebrows at Narelle, who busied herself with her untouched eggs.

The rest of the day, both Narelle and Remus was welcome by varying responses to the awkward interaction paired with both looking exhausted.

"Are you sneaking out to meet with Remus Lupin?" Aria asked Narelle quietly while they sat in Transfiguration. Narelle made a face, trying to focus on turning the object in front of her into an owl. She was complete rubbish at transfiguration, and this wasn't happening.

"Shove off, Kilburne, and help me with this, will you?"

Meanwhile, James was watching Remus carefully. He couldn't stop yawning, looking as exhausted as if the full moon was in the next three days. He was always back in the dorms earlier than he should be when he did his rounds, always leaving him with enough sleep. During potions class, James leaned over his cauldron with Sirius to speak to him, raising his dark eyebrows.

"What's a sweet Hufflepuff like her doing out so late?" he asked casually, as if this was something they had dealt with before. Remus paused in his stirring, looking up at James in confusion.

"What?"

"You know, Atterberry. The Hufflepuff who you were staring at this morning."

"I—she was just wandering," he stammered, furrowing his brows. Peter impatiently took away the spoon, stirring the potion. It was going to explode if they didn't stir but that didn't mean Remus was paying particularly close attention. "It's my job to escort students back to their dorms."

"I thought they got detention for being out past curfew," Peter chimed in, sprinkling some of their ingredients into the cauldron. Remus flushed, taking the spoon back and focusing on the potion.

"She had a good reason," he retorted quietly.

"How good of a reason, Moony?" Sirius teased, causing Remus to throw one of his ingredients at him. He immediately burst into laughter, going back to crushing some plants on his desk.

As soon as Charms class came, the taunting from both of their friends had stopped. Narelle and Aria walked in, Narelle ecstatic that they only had one more class after this.

"I'm so tired," she groaned to her friend, sitting down heavily into their usual desk.

"You were too busy sneaking out. I'd be tired too," Aria grinned, receiving an unamused look from Narelle in response.

The Marauders walked in moments later, chatting about something completely useless. Janine leaned over to raise her eyebrows at Narelle from across the room, who chose to ignore it, pulling out her book and wand. James glanced at the Hufflepuff girl, catching her eye for a second, before he sat down with Sirius at his usual desk. Remus immediately folded his arms on his desk beside James and Sirius, resting his chin on the back of his hands.

The class went by slowly, Narelle scribbling notes and ignoring Aria's curious stares. Peter scribbled notes down, glancing at Remus every once in awhile, who had zoned out. Surprisingly, there was no disruption from the Marauders.

Finally, Charms was over without anything exciting. It was almost relaxing to Narelle. There was no whisper of the war, no asking about defensive or offensive charms, no activities she needed to stand for. She and Aria stood, Aria going on about how boring the class was as Narelle gathered her things. She glanced at Remus, noticing him yawning, and paused for a second.

"Hey, Aria, I'll catch up with you in Divination, okay?" she said, accidentally cutting her off. Aria stared at her before following her gaze, grinning a bit.

"Alrighty," Aria responded in a sing-song voice. She reached over and gave a loose lock of Narelle's hair a gentle tug, reminding her to fix her ponytail. Narelle flushed, swatting at her friend's hand before she walked out of the classroom.

Remus noticed the other Hufflepuff leave, confused as to why Narelle didn't leave with her. He glanced over his shoulder, noticing her standing and studying him out of the corner of her eye. She smiled awkwardly but didn't move, raising her eyebrows. He paused before sliding his book into his bag, looking at the Marauders.

"Go on without me, I need to talk to Professor Flitwick for a second," he smiled. Sirius raised his eyebrows at him.

"Sounds good," he shrugged, clapping Remus on the shoulder with a grin before he, James, and Peter left, James glancing at his friend before they exited the classroom.

As soon as his friends were gone, Remus turned to Narelle, running a hand through his once-tidy hair. She gave him an awkward wave, taking a step towards him.

"I just wanted to thank you for, uh, not giving me detention," she said carefully, tucking her lock of loose hair behind her ear. "That was pretty kind of you, y'know. I just wanted to say I appreciated it."

Remus nodded slowly, studying her for a second. Her blue eyes looked just as tired as his. She was a strange mix of dark and bright colors—the circles under her eyes, her black hair, her dark eyebrows. All right next to her bright yellow Hufflepuff tie and her bag which was white with sunflowers embroidered over it. He had never really focused any attention on her before. She was quiet in class despite getting into an argument with James every once in a while due to his sarcastic questions. Especially in Divination the previous year. Usually, though, she kept to herself, looking small compared to Aria Kilburne, who always had something to laugh _very_ loudly about.

"Hey, any time," he smiled, before frowning. "I mean, not really. What I said still stands about giving you detention if I see you again. I have to do my job, you know."

She let out a soft laugh, her eyes dropping to the ground before looking back up again.

"I know, don't worry. It won't happen again."

They stared at each other for a second, smiling politely as silence filled the space between them. They were both waiting for the other to say goodbye, but that didn't happen for a few solid seconds. The time passed slowly, as if through molasses, the awkwardness almost deafening.

"Well," Remus said slowly, taking a step back from her. "I've got to get to class. I'll see you around, though, right?"

Narelle nodded. "Within curfew," she pointed out. He let out a small laugh.

"Right. Well. Bye, then."

He flashed her a small smile before turning and walking away, Narelle letting out a sigh of relief. She began her own trek to Divination, glad that interaction was over.

The next few days, Narelle and Remus both caught each other glancing in the other's direction. During breakfast, Aria would whisper to Narelle, who would glance at the Gryffindor table and catch Remus' eye. It became almost like an unspoken game—whoever was caught glancing last would then catch the other. The Marauders didn't say anything to Remus about it but, instead, watched the two of them. This continued throughout the week, Remus' jumper still lying beside Narelle's bed.

The level of awkward interaction seemed to peek one day in Charms class when Professor Flitwick introduced a (rather useless) charm.

"It's for concentration and patience," he declared, his voice squeaking into the air. Narelle stared at the tiny man, trying to focus on what he was saying. Her brain was fried after that week—she had an essay due in Transfiguration on Thursday, and she was spending all of her time focusing on it. Nothing seemed to work, so her mind started paying attention to the silliest things. Today, she was wondering how on Earth this little man could stand on a stack of books and _never fall_.

"The charm," he declared, holding up his wand, "is to create jewelry out of fake gold. It had started in the early 17th century as a trick to get higher in your status and fake galleons. However, the charm seemed to wear off with too much contact, and would dissolve. It is a forgotten spell by now and is completely useless! But, today, it will be a way to teach you how to focus entirely on something for future spells.

"Now, to create this spell at your level, you must focus on a part of your body. Here—look at my wrist and watch closely. _Mentior aurum._ " Professor Flitwick pointed his wand at his wrist and, slowly, a weaving band grew around it. It gleamed like gold, looking rather authentic. A couple of students _ooh_ ed in wonder. "Ah, yes, lovely isn't it? But watch." He stuck his thumb out for the class to see and began rubbing one spot of the band. It slowly turned black, then to green, and began to dissolve. There was no trace of where his thumb had left, although the dissolving began to grow, eating at the rest of the band. Soon, it had disappeared without a trace. "Fantastic, isn't it? Now, I want you to partner up with someone— _outside of your house!_ Pairing you with your mates will not truly help you with concentration. Understood? Good. Remember, students— _mentior aurum_. Nice and clearly!"

Narelle had perked up at the mention of partners, but immediately glanced at Aria when Flitwick was finished with what he was saying. Aria, in return, had cocked her eyebrow at Narelle.

"This is one of those times where I regret not being extremely social," she groaned, sinking into her chair. Aria laughed and stood, grabbing her wand and her book.

"I'm going to go pair up with Frank Longbottom. We've being trying to coax him to ask out Alice, so now's a good chance," she grinned, fluffing up her fire-red, unruly curls. She looked more like a lion than anything. "Maybe pair up with Lupin?"

At the sound of his name, Remus looked up and over at the two girls. Aria waved innocently, Narelle staring at her friend with horrified eyes, before Aria disappeared. She glanced over at Remus, who looked puzzled, and offered an awkward smile.

"Partners?" she offered, gesturing to the empty seat beside her.

"Why not?" he shrugged in response, standing and grabbing his wand. He climbed over a desk before sliding into the seat beside Narelle.

The two of them sat uncomfortably together while Narelle opened her book and flipped around to find the correct page. She made a face when she couldn't find it; it wasn't even in the index.

"It's not usually taught," he explained to her as she scanned the index. She looked up at him, raising her eyebrows.

"Were you paying attention?"

"I try to," he smiled.

"Good," she laughed awkwardly, turning in her seat to face him. She held up her wand. "Who wants to go first?"

Remus shrugged in response, but reached over to take her arm. The physical contact was strange, Narelle immediately wanting to pull back and shoo him away. He pointed his wand at her arm, chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully.

" _Mentior aurum,_ " he murmured to himself.

There was a strange tingling sensation as something began to grow onto her forearm. The tingling was quickly replaced by the feeling of cold metal, a band slowly wrapping around her. It looked like a vine with small, gold leaves, weaving itself down her arm to her wrist before stopping. She raised her eyebrows at it, surprised by how well he had done on his first try. Pleased with his work, Remus pulled back and gave her a small smile. She studied it for a second, not wanting to touch it. She didn't want it to dissolve—it was beautiful, to say the least. She nodded in appreciation.

"Alright," she took a deep breath, pulling her ponytail down. Her dark, wavy hair fluffed up around her face before she pulled it back again tightly. "Give me your arm."

Remus obeyed, holding his arm out. Despite usually looking a bit peeky because of his condition, he still had olive colored skin. The further away he was from the full moon, the more his complexion glowed. Narelle's pale fingers gently pulled his arm closer to her, focusing higher on his wrist. She murmured the charm under her breath before a slightly thicker band began to grow. Engraved in it were stars, wrapping around his wrist in no time. She pulled her wand and hand away, feeling odd with any of the physical contact, and smiled proudly.

"I have to say, that's pretty impressive," he laughed, looking at it closely. "You must be good at Transfiguration if you can do this."

At that, Narelle snorted, a tad more aggressively than intended. It sounded more like a noise one would make that was quickly followed by a _well, duh_. Remus' green eyes widened at her, looking suddenly apologetic, as if he had done something to offend her.

"Merlin, no," she laughed, shaking her head. "I'm awful at transfiguration. I really am. All I'm good at is Divination."

At this, Remus furrowed his brows. He couldn't imagine Divination to be anything but exceedingly boring. "Really?" he asked slowly, to which Narelle nodded.

"I could read your palm, if you want. It's a pretty good trick at parties," she grinned.

He let out a small laugh, shaking his head.

"Can you really?"

She nodded again.

Remus smiled gently at her before holding his hand out as an invitation. Immediately, she took his hand in both of hers, carefully splaying it with her thumbs. Her gentle demeanor sent shivers through him, watching her carefully as she concentrated on his hand. She pressed her lips together in thought, following the lines in his palm steadily. There was something about this that felt rather intimate to him. Here he was, in the middle of class, letting a young witch gaze into his future. She opened her mouth to say something before she was cut off by Professor Flitwick.

"Alright, I think that's enough practice for today!" he called to his class, looking rather proud with his students. "Come back to your seats, please, and we'll go over homework."

Narelle held onto his hand as she listened, looking back over at him when Flitwick was done. With a delicate smile, she pulled her hands away and rested them on her lap.

"Some other time maybe," she said with a smile. Remus let out an uncomfortable, almost nervous laugh as he stood, pushing his hair back slightly. Narelle noticed how neat it usually was. He looked charming and neat, the sides short but the top part a bit longer. It was rather handsome, she decided, despite him looking a bit like a schoolboy. He pushed it out of the way, causing some of it to stick up, revealing his green eyes.

"Thanks for the bracelet," he said genuinely, holding up his arm. She laughed and nodded, turning back to her book, before he climbed over desks to get back to his own.

He smiled gently to himself before being nudged by Peter.

"'Thanks for the bracelet'?" he teased with a grin. Remus shoved him slightly.

"Like you're any smoother," he retorted, but couldn't stop his small smile.


	5. Chapter 5

Outside, the leaves were crimson and gold with October, the air chilling throughout the castle. Narelle sat awake, looking at the neatly folded jumper on her floor. She was waiting patiently for the girls in her dorm to fall asleep before she decided to venture into the castle. As soon as the lull of all of their breathing was deep and undisturbed, Narelle carefully got out of bed. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail, combing through it with her fingers beforehand, and grabbed the jumper.

Her game plan was made up impulsively as she pulled her shoes on and walked through the tunnels to the school. It was all based around hope and pure luck, really, which she had faith in. She would go up and walk around the same place she had been when they had ran into each other a little over a week ago. If he wasn't around patrolling, then she would simply go to the portrait to the Gryffindor common room and set it down there.

The castle was chill with autumn air, but the random butterflies in Narelle's stomach were warming her. She held the jumper close with one hand, the other holding out her lit wand. She hoped, desperately, that she didn't accidentally run into anyone important. Specifically teachers and other prefects. She was convincing herself that this was just a good deed, just her getting a boy's jumper back.

It was nearly pitch black in the halls except for her wand and the light streaming in from the waning moon. Her sock-clad feet were silent against the marble floors, although they lacked traction, as she hurried up staircase after staircase. Around the fourth one, she wondered why she was doing this in the first place and why the Gryffindor common rooms were _so damn high_.

She began to slow, trying to quietly catch her breath, when she heard earnest footsteps coming at her from the opposing corridor. Like a small animal, she froze, eyes widened in horror.

She expected the worst. Filch, or even worse than that, _McGonagall_. But the eyes that met hers in the light were green and just as wide as hers, a crimson and gold prefect badge shining in the combined wandlight.

"Atterberry?"

"Hey!" she smiled nervously, walking up the last few steps, holding onto his jumper. "I know you said you were going to give me detention, but I realized I still had this." She cleared her throat, holding out the beige jumper to him.

Remus cocked an eyebrow at her, carefully taking the jumper into his hands. He couldn't help but grin a bit.

"Do you know what time it is?" he laughed gently, tucking the jumper under his arm.

"Uh. Late, I'm assuming."

He checked his watch, raising his eyebrows.

"It's two in the morning."

"It's also a Friday night," Narelle pointed out, grinning at him.

The two stood there like that for a second, grinning like this interaction was their best secret. So secret, in fact, that neither wanted to point out this second meeting to each other. It was completely intentional this time. They knew that. And Narelle's flushed cheeks from running up the stairs seemed to further prove that. Yet, they said nothing, taking the sights of each other in.

"Well," Remus said carefully, taking a deep breath. "Thank you for my jumper back. It's a really nice one, you know."

She shrugged slightly, nervously reaching behind her to tighten her ponytail. "It's really not a big deal," she said simply. "I didn't want to give it to you in person, you know. Around other people. It felt like too much of a strange interaction."

 _Like this isn't strange enough?_ he thought, eyeing the girl. She looked less tired than the beginning of that week, less bothered. His immediate reaction was hoping her nightmares were subsiding.

"Would you like to walk with me a bit?" Remus managed to stammer, not completely sure why he was asking her to. They both looked surprised at the offer, Narelle hesitating slightly.

"Oh, uh," she shrugged, smiling politely. "Sure. But I do need to sleep soon, you know."

He nodded understandingly, the two of them standing there awkwardly for a second. Every interaction between the two of them seemed to not only be filled with electricity, but also suffocating nervousness. It took them a second before Remus spoke up, telling her to come along, and they were then walking side-by-side.

The castle was unusually quiet that night, the sky clear of clouds. Narelle stared out the windows, gazing out at the stars. The moon, although waning, made the sky light up. The grounds were glittering from a short spout of rain earlier, leaves falling gently from the trees in the breeze. The only sound other than Remus' footsteps (he was wearing shoes, although untied) was that of the snoring people in the portraits. It was an almost soothing sound to Remus. He loved to walk about during his rounds, nothing but the sound of snoring wizards and his shoes on the marble. Tonight, though, he could hear Narelle breathing softly beside him. Her eyes were glued to the sky as they walked around, past the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room.

Despite the comfort of the silence, it slowly began to feel rather strange, like one of them should be saying something. It wasn't like they were best friends and went on two-in-the-morning-walks together.

"So," Remus spoke up, glancing at Narelle, who yawned. "What kind of stuff are you into?"

She glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. _What a loaded question_ , she thought, but held her tongue for a moment.

"Oh, you know," she shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. "Music, I suppose. Books and things."

"What kinds?" he egged on, watching her carefully. She scrunched up her nose before letting out a nervous laugh.

"Um, poetry mostly," she admitted, glancing at him. His eyes lit up, beaming at her.

"Really?" he asked, gentle lightness in his voice. For some reason, he felt relieved. Relieved that she enjoyed something they could actually talk about. Relieved that this interaction wasn't going as terribly as most. "What kind of poetry exactly?"

Narelle considered this for a moment as they continued on his rounds. It was a long moment of silence before she responded.

"It's hard to decide," she admitted. "Emily Dickinson is my favorite, if that gives you an idea."

"I'm a Whitman fan," Remus said proudly with a grin.

The two glanced at each other. His stomach fluttered suddenly as she smiled at him, looking almost… impressed. He had never been sure that he could impress a girl before. Especially one as pretty as…

He pushed the idea out of his head as quickly as it came, looking away from her. She studied him for a second before looking away as well.

"Whitman's pretty good," she said with appreciation. "I definitely have enjoyed a few of his poems. I mean, I haven't read a lot of his stuff, but 'O Captain! My Captain!' is a good poem. Pretty sad."

"I could say the same about Emily Dickinson," Remus smiled, watching her as she spoke. She was rather expressive, something he never would have noticed in class. Sure, she would ask questions and scrunch up her nose sometimes when the response wasn't something she liked, but she had grown out of that. As she spoke now, she nodded slightly and furrowed her brows. Her expression always chimed in with what she said. She glanced at him, lips pressed together, before looking back out of the window.

They walked in silence for a few more moments, enjoying the chill night air. They kept a good distance apart, falling into step. To Narelle, the castle had suddenly lost the gloomy air that had been there since the beginning of the year. Her mind began to wander, back down to the Hufflepuff common room. What if Aria woke up and noticed she was gone? Would they badger her about where she went?

Remus, incidentally, was thinking the same thing as he checked his watch. 2:30 AM. The Marauders might notice that he was missing, and then what? James and Sirius would never admit it to his face, but they were overly worried about Remus. His shoulders slumped at the thought; everyone who knew about the lycanthropy worried about him. Not that his friends thought he would hurt other people, they were just always worried he would get over-attached and get himself hurt. He glanced Narelle out of the corner of his eye, reality stealing the air out of his lungs. Even if he just wanted to be friends with her, it wouldn't work out. Not really. She would catch on, find him out to be a monster. He was sure of it.

But… maybe he should give it a try, he thought, slowing to a stop. Maybe they _could_ be friends.

Narelle stopped after she noticed he had, turning to face him.

"What time is it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Remus checked his watch, despite knowing full well what time it was.

"Half past two," he told her, sliding his hands into his pockets. He watched her shoulders fall, frowning slightly. "We best be going to bed."

She nodded, sighing and pushing her bangs up as she looked out the window. When she pulled her hand back, her bangs flopped back down onto her forehead and she flashed him a smile.

"Well, Lupin, I'll see you around," she declared, sounding less friendly and more polite, as though they had just had a conversation about business. The tone crushed him slightly. Had this not been a small adventure? Had this not been their small secret? Who sneaks out in the middle of the night to give a random boy a jumper?

However, Remus didn't ask any of this. He smiled with the same polite air, nodding.

"Sleep well, Narelle," he said carefully, almost afraid he would get her name wrong. She looked shocked and he panicked, wondering if that really _was_ her name, but she forced a sheepish smile.

"Goodnight, Remus," she nodded, placing her hands on her hips, still smiling.

They stared at each other for a second before awkwardly walking in opposite directions, Narelle bee-lining for the stairs. She was internally kicking herself for even leaving her dorm. _Who sneaks out in the middle of the night to give a boy a jumper?_ She thought desperately to herself.

She couldn't help but glance over her shoulder, watching Remus yawn and turn a corner, disappearing from her sight. She closed her eyes and sighed, debating just laying down and sleeping on the stairs. Yet… she continued down, down to her common room, through the tunnels. Her mind was blank as she climbed into bed, looking up and watching a lone cloud push forward in the sky.


	6. Chapter 6

The October breeze had found a home on the grounds of Hogwarts, blowing by with a slight chill and sending leaves on their way. This was the time of year that Narelle and Aria sat outside, studying and gossiping. They had done this for years, but as soon as the first snow came they sat in the common room with warm drinks. They sat side-by-side on a windowsill overlooking the middle courtyard, Aria groaning loudly as she worked on a potions essay. Narelle, on the other hand, had her Transfiguration textbook open but her eyes were elsewhere.

It was a Wednesday afternoon, the classes of the past two days being rather uneventful, minus a weird vision in Divination. They had been trying to scry with mirrors and, although it was blurry, all she saw was blood and felt pain bloom within her chest. She saw a familiar face, black wavy hair, and had assumed it was herself. She had panicked, shoving the scrying mirror away from her, only for Professor Bruixa to place a plump hand on her shoulder. She had told Narelle to take a step outside and breathe, and Narelle had tried to not think of it since. It was typical for people to see their own deaths, especially in times of war.

There were two weeks left of October, but Narelle and Aria had just broken away from Janine who was already planning a Halloween party. The fact that they were nearly two months into school and Narelle hadn't heard from either of her parents shook her to the bone. She tried to distract herself, watching the students around her.

"Can you do this essay for me?" Aria begged, pouting up at Narelle, who glanced at her friend.

"What? No, why would I do your essay for you?"

"Because you're my best mate, that's why."

"Get to work," Narelle smiled with a shake of her head, twirling her quill and looking back at all of the students.

There was the sound of boisterous laughter suddenly, approaching from the hall adjacent to Narelle. She glanced over, already knowing what to expect. The Marauders walked by, Sirius and James arguing loudly about something while Peter and Remus chuckled alongside them. It was shocking to Narelle, really, how easily they laughed and cheered and argued. Her entire world seemed to be slowly shaken up, and here were these four boys whose eyes were still bright.

For Remus, as he laughed at the ridiculous nature of his friends, he was feeling as though energy were pouring into him with each day. The moon was waning, so close to a new moon. He was doing well in classes. His mother sent him a letter that morning along with some sweets. There was a beige jumper folded on his nightstand which smelled strangely like _girl_ that was receiving odd looks from Sirius and James. He hadn't put it on since Narelle had given it back the previous Friday night. It just lay there innocently and sometimes, when he was working on homework or reading or getting ready for bed, he would look at it. Just its presence was a new, exciting secret, reminding him that a girl had snuck out _just_ to see him.

He kept pushing away the thought that it might mean nothing. He wouldn't accept that. Not yet.

As they came to a turn around the middle courtyard, Remus glanced out one of the windows. He looked around at the students as they worked on essays and studied, eyes scanning for something interesting. As he looked further, his eyes finally fell on Narelle, who was watching the Marauders with a raised eyebrow.

He couldn't stop the grin, no matter how badly he wished he could have. Narelle's facial expression went from unimpressed to shock as she noticed they had made eye contact. Quickly, she looked away and buried her nose in her transfiguration book, looking suddenly confused.

He grinned wider, his pace faltering behind the boys, a sudden idea popping into his mind.

 _I'm awful at Transfiguration. I really am._ Her voice echoed softly in his head and, suddenly, he knew he had to dive on this opportunity before he lost the nerve.

"Moony," James called after him and Remus looked up. His friends were a few feet away, Sirius pulling out a cigarette, his hand halfway to his mouth while Peter studied his shoes. James' hazel eyes were on Remus, his dark eyebrow cocked, his hair somehow more mussed than usual. Excitement was buzzing in Remus' veins, and wouldn't have been surprised if it reverberated off of him. He could only hope that they'd understand his sudden impulsiveness—he'd explain it later.

"I've got to go do something," Remus said confidently, grinning at them. James' confused look lingered for a moment before he shrugged.

"Alright, see you in the common room?"

"Definitely," Remus nodded, grinning larger.

The other three waved to him slightly before continuing their conversation, Peter groaning loudly as the topic moved to girls. Remus watched them before glancing at Narelle, who had looked up as their loud voices approached her. She studied the three, confused, before looking over at where Remus was standing. They made eye contact and he grinned at Narelle, who hesitated and smiled back, before looking over at Aria.

"Please, Merlin, kill me now so I don't have to write this," Aria whined dramatically, looking towards the sky as if she were praying.

"Aria," Narelle hissed quietly, her friend glancing at her out of the corner of her eye. "Remus Lupin is staring at me."

Aria's eyes stayed on Narelle before slowly looking up at Remus who hopped through a window. She watched him slide his hands into his pockets as he awkwardly strode over, glancing around.

"He's walking over here, too," Aria grinned, looking back at her friend, her face still turned up to the sky. "What was that again about you not sneaking out to see him? What happened to that jumper, by the way?"

"Are you _serious?_ " Narelle cried softly, her eyes widening in panic.

She looked over just as Remus strolled up to her, his shoulders shrugged up. She smiled gently, nerves running through her body. Remus grinned at her and they both sat there for a second, studying each other in silence, neither sure what to say. The only thing Narelle found herself focusing on was how the few scars on his face were, surprisingly, rather beautiful in the soft sunlight streaming through the clouds.

"Hello, Narelle," he smiled politely, looking over at Aria, who had turned her head to face him. "Aria, right?"

"Correct," she grinned, looking rather devious. His confidence keeled over and died slightly in her own presence, feeling like he was approaching a lioness and her cub. He had to remind himself quickly that Aria wasn't the reason why he was here. He continued his awkward smile with a small nod before looking back at Narelle.

"Sorry for popping up out of the blue, I know you're studying, but I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment."

Narelle raised her eyebrows at him. She could almost see his nerve take a step back after he and Aria made prolonged eye contact. There was a slightly desperate look in his eye, as if it were her job as a friend to get him out of this situation. She glanced around them and over his shoulder for a second, wondering if there _was_ someone she needed to get him away from.

"Uh," she said slowly, her eyes falling back on him as she closed her book and stood. She flashed him a small smile. "Yeah, of course."

Remus looked suddenly grateful and beamed at her, leading her into the hall behind them. Aria craned her neck to watch them and he tried to ignore her, his eyes on the book in Narelle's hands. They stood facing each other, Remus shifting from foot to foot, inhaling deeply.

"I remember you telling me you're absolute rubbish at Transfiguration," he started, not choosing his words carefully with his mind befuddled with nerves. She raised her eyebrows at him, looking a tad bit offended before smiling, amused.

"That's right, I am," she laughed, drumming her fingers on the cover of her book. He laughed anxiously, shrugging his shoulders up further, as if he could hide in them.

"So! What I was wondering was, would you like some help? You know, like a tutor. I, uh, I got Outstanding on my O. for it."

"I got Exceeds Expectations," Narelle grinned, studying him. Watching him nervously pick his words was, frankly, quite the show.

"I'm sure you did!" he stammered, his green eyes wide. "But, you just—"

"A tutor would be great," she laughed slightly, watching his shoulders fall with relief. "Actually, a tutor would be _amazing_ because I'm convinced I'm failing that class. And if I fail that class, I am going to cry."

"Well, that's what I'm here for," Remus laughed, running a hand through his hair. She watched as one of his cowlicks stuck up, holding back from giggling.

"Fantastic."

"Terrific."

"What time would you like to meet?"

"Oh, um," Remus looked down at his shoes, frowning in thought. This was the problem with all of his half-assed plans—he was never prepared for how far he always seemed to get. "How about Fridays?"

"The Marauders won't get upset?" Narelle grinned. Remus looked up in shock, forgetting for a second that everyone seemed to know their nicknames. He smiled awkwardly, shrugging.

"They might actually be happy to have me out of the room," he said with a laugh.

She grinned, nodding slowly.

"Alright, sounds great. I've got to get back to Aria…" she trailed off and the two of them looked over at the Hufflepuff, who was trying to casually peer in. Janine had joined her, her hair in a braid and eyes wide and excited. Narelle shook her head, looking back at Remus. "But, I'll meet you on Friday? When and where?"

"Clock Courtyard?" he offered, smiling meekly. "It's quite a bit off from things. You know, in case you blow something up."

Narelle laughed at this, full-on, for the first time in one of their conversations. Remus beamed, watching as her entire being seemed to light up more with her laugh, her hand over her mouth. There was just something about seeing someone like this that made them feel a whole lot more _real_. It made the entire situation excitingly legitimate to Remus.

"Oh, shove off," she grinned at him. "Sounds lovely. I'll see you then after classes." She gave him a small wave before turning on her heel and walking back to her friends, a newfound bounce in her step. The two girls immediately started whispering excitedly to her, but Remus watched her ignore them, opening her book.

He grinned, already imagining how excited the Marauders were going to be for him.

"You're doing _what?_ "

Aria stared at Narelle as she sat down for dinner, pouring herself some pumpkin juice. Aria looked completely shocked as her friend, who seemed unfazed, put a small amount of lamb onto her plate. Narelle continued to put food on her plate—which she _rarely_ did—before looking over at Aria. Aria looked completely shocked, her hand still outstretched to a plate of broccoli which Janine had grabbed.

"I'm going to study with Remus," Narelle said again, cutting off a piece of the lamb and taking a bite. "So you and I won't be able to hang out Friday afternoon."

"You're referring to him by his first name? When did this happen? You _yell at James Potter_ , Narelle. How are you two even speaking?"

"First of all, I've never _yelled_ at James. I've simply gotten into an argument with him," Narelle explained gently, stabbing a grilled potato onto her fork. She glanced at Aria, who still looked unconvinced. "Look, I mentioned to Remus once that I'm bad at Transfiguration. During charms, actually, and today he saw me reading my Transfiguration book. You've met the boy, he's bloody smart. Of course he made a simple connection, offered to help me."

Aria raised her eyebrows at her as Janine gently placed the plate of broccoli into her hands. She huffed quietly, shaking her head, her fire-red curls bouncing as she began dishing herself some food.

"It just seems so strange," she admitted. "You two have barely ever looked at each other, and then this weird series of events—you sneaking out twice in a week, partnering up during Charms, now he's tutoring you."

"So what?" Narelle sighed, growing tired of this conversation. "Who even said I saw him when I snuck out? Because I didn't. I was clearing my mind, you know that."

"Well, I don't know. He's friends with James and Sirius. Maybe he's just hoping for a shag."

Narelle's fork was halfway to her mouth when Aria said that, and she immediately snorted. She set her fork down aggressively on her plate, shooting Aria a scalding look. Aria shrugged in response to the look, but spoke no further. Narelle's eyes flicked to Remus, who was grinning nervously at a story Sirius was whispering about. By his small hand gestures, Narelle could tell it wasn't a particularly appropriate conversation, and Peter chuckled into his hand, his eyes on the Ravenclaw table.

She half expected Remus to look up. The past week or so he always had, and they always made eye contact, but this time he just shook his head and continued eating.

"If you don't mind my two cents," Janine spoke up, leaning forward to look at Narelle. "I'm pretty sure Lupin would cry if presented with sex. Look at him, that boy is probably more scared of sex than being bit by a werewolf."

Aria snorted and Narelle shook her head, glancing at him before chewing thoughtfully.

That Friday after Defense Against the Dark Arts, Remus awkwardly told the Marauders that he was going to be doing something. He had panicked and didn't tell them what he was up to, so the uncharacteristic leave left the other three Marauders stunned. Since the day before, Remus had poured over his transfiguration notes to try and help Narelle out as best he could. He was unusually ecstatic to meet with her in the courtyard, to help her develop her school work. He told himself that's what it was.

The previous night, as he scribbled down extra notes, he couldn't help but stare at the jumper.

Narelle was just as excited as she drummed her fingers on her table in Divination. Aria eyed her carefully the antsier she got and, as soon as class was over, Narelle leapt to her feet so fast she almost knocked over her tea cup. After apologizing profusely, she told Aria she would see her around and hurried down and out of the classroom.

Outside, clouds had formed, casting the castle grounds into a cool shadow. Remus' pace had slowed the closer he got to the clock courtyard, looking out the windows. He wasn't totally sure if she was going to actually show up, and the thought of standing there like a fool scared him to death. He carefully walked past the clock tower into the courtyard, studying the deep green vines crawling up the old stone architecture. The fountain was a pleasant, mind-numbing sound and he carefully sat on the edge, setting his bag down at his feet. The eagle statues looked menacing, their stone eyes staring off into the distance, beaks open in the middle of a birdcall. One of the eagles had its wings open slightly, a snake dangling from its razor-sharp beak.

Remus was suddenly very unnerved by the statues, deciding to look away and, instead, at the pear tree. It was becoming a lovely crimson color, some of the leaves blowing off in the wind and dancing around his head.

Narelle was hurrying towards the courtyard, pulling her hair down as she stepped past the inner-workings of the clock and onto the cobblestone. Remus perked up at the sound of her footsteps, his green eyes landing on her as her pace slowed. She smiled gently, her dark hair bouncing around her face as she walked over. With it down, it went just past her jawline, just long enough for her to pull it back again.

"Have you been waiting long?" she asked, her words rushed and voice a tad breathless as she dropped down onto the side of the fountain next to him. She was, once again, surprised by how good he looked despite the thin, pearly streaks on his face. For the first time, she noticed a deep scar on the right side of his neck. It touched from a bit below his ear down to below his collar. His tie was loosened, his robes ditched, and he sat with the sleeves of his shirt and cardigan pushed up. She looked about the same, her robes stuffed into her bag.

"Just a few minutes," he reassured her. He immediately grabbed his bag and started pulling some things out—notes, his textbook, a goblet, and a bottle of vinegar. "So, what exactly are your troubles in transfiguration?"

Narelle watched his hands. His fingers were slender and bony, his knuckles red, but he was graceful. Small scars littered them. _What were all of these scars from?_

"Oh, um, mostly only things being half-done. Does that make sense? Or I accidentally create something completely different."

A sudden look of understanding washed over Remus' face and he smiled, nodding.

"Concentration," he said simply, almost like a doctor diagnosing her problem. "Let's work on that then, shall we?" He poured some vinegar into the goblet, setting it down between them, and then they were off.

They studied like that for some time. The only sound other than the two talking was the fountain and soft ticking of the clock, but they both blocked that out. Remus spent the majority of the time talking about the theory of transfiguration and sharing his extra notes with her, which she scribbled down quickly. When they finally got around to trying to transfigure the vinegar into wine (which is what they were doing), Narelle grew a bit flustered and embarrassed, causing her transfiguration to get worse. At one point, the goblet caught fire and they both let out a panicked yell before Remus instinctively grabbed her wrist and knocked the goblet into the fountain. They watched it bubble for a second before sinking, his fingers still wrapped firmly around her wrist, holding her wand up. They glanced at each other, Remus looking rather amused while Narelle looked mortified.

"Time for a break?" he asked with a laugh, letting go of her wrist. The longer they had practiced, the more flushed Narelle's cheeks got. A few locks of hair had fallen out of her ponytail, framing her face. She looked down at the goblet, ashamed.

"Sounds like it."

"What was it I said about coming here in case you blew things up?" he grinned.

Narelle laughed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "Quiet, Lupin," she smiled.

He grinned at her, leaning back against one of the eagles. After a moment of eye contact, she looked away and kicked at her robe poking out of her bag, as though that would help it. He wanted to fix her hair, to give a small flick of his wand and have it back in place, but decided against it. He had seen Aria tug on a lock of her hair a few times and she would always flush and redo her ponytail. However, that seemed too intimate. They weren't close enough for that.

"So why don't you think you're concentrating enough in transfiguration?" Remus asked softly. She looked up at him, looking shocked.

"What?"

"Your transfiguration. It's because you're not focused. Why is that?"

By the look on her face, Remus knew that she had an answer. But it was also plain that it wasn't an answer she told just anyone. She looked back down at her shoes, pressing her lips together in thought.

"Family things," Narelle said after a moment of silence. They sat there, Remus wanting to egg her on, but holding back. She looked up then at the clock and awkwardly got to her feet, grabbing her bag and flashing him a small smile. "Dinner's soon, I ought to be getting back."

"Oh, hell," he laughed uncomfortably, getting to his feet and gathering his things. "I guess you're right."

"Thanks," she said, taking a small step back, her smile softening. "You're a really good teacher, you know that?" By the shocked look on Remus' face, she could tell that he did not, in fact, know that.

"Thank you," he said softly, unsure of how to respond to that.

"I'll see you next Friday, right?" She raised her eyebrows pointedly, taking another step back. He laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes, definitely. I'll see you then."

With that, she gave him a small wave before turning on her heel and walking quickly away. She pulled her hair down and he watched as she quickly walked away, her steps and hair bouncing.

The next week went by quickly, Narelle trying to focus more on her work after her meeting with Remus. She nearly forgot about the fact that her parents hadn't sent her anything since school started. She felt herself growing more and more excited as Friday neared. Spending time around Remus was new and exciting for her—she had no idea she could be so pleased to be around him. Yet, they still treated it like a secret. Neither mentioned it, but their eye contact and small smiles seemed to grow.

This, of course, did not go unnoticed by the Marauders.

"So, where did you go Friday afternoon?" Sirius asked casually one day during transfiguration. He had noticed Remus' extra notes since the previous week, but had chosen to keep that knowledge on the down-low. Remus glanced up at his friend before underlining something in his book.

"Nowhere in particular," he said simply, as if that was good enough.

"Oh yeah?" Sirius grinned, raising his eyebrow. "Remus, are you secretly getting tail and not telling us? Come on, I'm offended!"

Instead of laughing or blushing, though, Remus shot him a look, and Sirius backed down.

"Well, if you're going to disappear again, just don't forget about your costume for the Halloween party on Sunday." Sirius' voice dropped down to a whisper as he then said, "And, Friday night, the four of us are sneaking into the potion's cabinet to get some extra ingredients for something. I'm not totally sure what's in it, but Peter's swearing up and down that it helps wake you up, or at least get rid of a hangover."

Remus didn't respond—he just nodded, and Sirius decided to drop it, continuing to side-eye his friend for the rest of class.

That Friday after DADA, Remus felt electrified again. His health seemed to be waning as the moon grew, but that didn't seem to be affecting him now. He hurried to the courtyard, whistling a soft tune to himself as he went, his hands casually in his pockets.

Narelle had—somehow—managed to get away from Janine and Aria's badgering questions. They seemed to lessen their curiosities at the sight of a lighter Narelle. The two girls caught their friend glancing at Remus more often and she was studying her transfiguration book more closely. Her usually-tired self seemed to be much more alert and awake the closer it got to Friday. When Divination was over, she told Aria not to wait up for her at dinner before hurrying in the direction of the courtyard. The late-October air was cold and refreshing, the gray of autumn still present. Yet, she felt rather sunshine-y as she fast-walked to the courtyard, grinning widely at the sight of Remus inspecting one of the eagles.

"Remus!" she called out before her feet even touched the cobblestone. He spun around, looking a bit shocked, before smiling at the sight of her.

"Hey," he grinned. "How were classes?"

"Lovely," she said simply, before sitting in front of him at the fountain. She pulled out her book, opening it before raising her eyebrows at him. "Ready?"

The two of them attempted to work again, but got side-tracked much more quickly this time. Neither was quite sure how they ended up on the topic of their preferred candies, the books and notes suddenly forgotten about.

"I'm a fan of caramel, personally," Narelle shrugged, flicking her wand so that yellow sparks shot up like tiny fireworks. "And toffee. Oh, I love toffee. And butterscotch."

"Very orange," Remus grinned.

"Butterbeer is my weakness," she smiled at him. "What's yours?"

Remus mulled it over for a second despite knowing full well what his weakness was.

"Chocolate," he said simply, smiling.

"Why's that?"

 _Because it kills dogs. It's a delicious poison._ "My mum's always been a fan of it. I guess I just sort of grew up with it."

Narelle nodded, studying him for a minute. The two were silent, just carefully listening to the soft sound of the fountain. A soft breeze blew by and a leaf flitted into the water. Narelle watched as it spun in the fountain, dancing slightly, her reflection rippling.

"Can I ask you something?" Remus asked carefully, and Narelle looked up.

"I suppose so."

"When I caught you after curfew… why on _Earth_ were you wearing a Gryffindor shirt? I wasn't even sure they made those. Not to mention you're basically the poster child for Hufflepuff."

The last statement really struck something within Narelle and she stared at him, wide-eyed. Did he truly mean that? Was she really that much of a Hufflepuff, to a T? She refrained from asking, not wanting to disappoint herself.

"It was my mom's," she smiled sadly, looking away from him. "My, uh… My mom and my dad both went to Hogwarts, back in the day. Both from a long line of Gryffindors. They were pretty happy when I got accepted into Hogwarts and my mom gave me all of her old stuff from her days wandering these halls. I guess they weren't expecting, I mean…" she trailed off, punctuating the statement with a gesture to her Hufflepuff tie and coat of arms. Remus watched her carefully as she spoke, watching her expression go from shock to complete shame in such a short amount of time. Something in him wanted to reach out and place a hand on her elbow and say _it's not all it's cracked up to be, being a Gryffindor. Even at that, you'd be a damn good one in my eyes._

Instead, he said, "I can't even imagine someone being let down by you."

Her cheeks flushed and she laughed gently, twirling her wand in her hands.

"They rarely ever see me, so I guess their opinion isn't based on legitimacy," she smiled up at him, leaning back against an eagle. The sun was carefully setting now, the clouds parting as sunshine shot across the sky. Streaks of orange and gold erupted from the horizon, but neither looked at the beauty happening above their heads. Instead, they studied each other as if looking at one another for the first time in their lives.

"We should probably head back," Remus said quietly, but his heart wasn't in his words. Not really.

"You're right," Narelle nodded, breaking eye contact and grabbing her book.

They silently gathered their things, placing them in their separate bags. The ticking of the clock, the sound of the leaves, the fountain—they all suddenly seemed so loud, now filling the silence in their conversation. Each moved slow, as if waiting for the other to shout _stop!_ Neither did, though, Narelle pressing her lips together in thought as Remus frowned slightly, unsure of how to continue on from there. When they stood, they didn't fully face each other. Instead, they both looked towards the sky, watching the gold and orange fade carefully. It was a beautiful end to an exciting afternoon. Despite the sun belonging to the sky, the moment felt all their own, as if the sunset was their own little secret.

They seemed to have a lot of those.

"I've got to go," Remus spoke first, flashing Narelle a soft smile. "Shenanigans, you know."

She let out a small laugh—a tiny song to his ears. "Definitely. I need to go eat, I'm starved."

"Next week?"

"Of course."

And, with that, the two smiled at each other as if the world belonged to just the two of them and departed, feeling as golden as the sun.


	7. Chapter 7

One could argue—rather well, too—that Halloween was the best time during the Hogwarts school year. It was full of chattering, happy students, jack-o-lanterns grinning from the ceiling, and apple cider. Outside it was drizzling, the rain gently tapping on the windows. All of the horror in The Daily Prophet could have just been a really, really bad Halloween prank. Everyone seemed to treat it as such, not quite paying attention to the photos of blown-up houses or the news that a giant had tried to attack the ministry the day before. It was a lovely, cozy Sunday, and everyone seemed rather relieved.

Yet, there was a group missing from the Gryffindor table that morning.

Halloween was James' favorite holiday, Remus' least favorite, and it was rather plain to Sirius and Peter. The four of them were still in their dorm room late Sunday morning, James grinning excitedly as Peter's altered version of the pepperup potion was brewing. Sirius sat on their windowsill, trying to blow rings with his smoke, while Remus fiddled with the end of his beige jumper. The smell had faded but wearing it was pleasantly dizzying to him. The other Marauders had refrained from asking him about it, but now was their perfect opportunity.

"So how was Friday?" James asked deviously, leaning against the door to the dorm with a grin. Remus glanced up, unsure if he was addressing him.

"What?" Remus laughed gently, cocking a brow.

"Friday," James said matter-of-fact, jutting out his chin in a gesture to Remus, as if Friday were some tangible thing behind him. "You know. You were late to dinner. And last week you just disappeared."

Remus' face flushed and he let out an odd mix between a scoff and a laugh. His eyes dropped back down to his hands which were still fiddling with the bottom of his jumper.

"It's really nothing exciting," he said gently, but he suddenly felt electrified. Of course it was something. Remus wasn't very asocial, but he was still the kind of person who preferred to not be around brand new people. He figured that _everyone_ was like that, though, that _everyone_ had trouble meeting new people. Except for James, who seemed to thrive on attention and conversation.

"Sure it is," James said cheerfully, moving to flop down onto Remus' bed beside him, crossing his legs. "Come on. Who's the girl, eh?"

"There isn't a _girl!_ " he insisted, his voice raising an octave or so. Remus rolled his eyes dramatically, trying not to reveal too much.

There was one thing that would never change about Remus, and that was the fact that he was an _awful_ liar.

"Aw, leave him alone," Sirius laughed from his windowsill, tapping the ash into a small shell-shaped ashtray. "If he had a girlfriend, he would tell us. It's Moony."

"One would also think that he would tell us if he just decided to bail one Friday afternoon," piped up Peter bitterly. He sat cross-legged on the floor, stirring the potion with a scowl on his face. James and Sirius had been whispering about it for the entire week, mostly ignoring Peter as they did so, and he was sick of it. It was Halloween, why couldn't they just joyfully plot pranks together?

Remus, however, looked like a mix between being humiliated and guilty. His eyes stayed on his jumper, feeling a bit invisible as his friends talked about him as if he weren't there. He didn't have a good reason for not telling them other than that he was worried it wasn't legitimate. He was worried he would tell them about the jumper, about how a gentle girl had snuck out just to _see him_ , and they'd tell him it meant nothing. He wasn't big on crushing on girls. Usually, at any sign of romantic interest, he would panic and convince himself that they could do so much better and tried to avoid them at all costs. This was different. It was an entirely different situation. And it had so much potential to _mean nothing_.

And he was scared to death.

"We're just worried," James said finally, and Remus looked up, his green eyes wide.

"Why are you worried?" he laughed awkwardly, and James looked at him as though that were the dumbest question he had ever heard.

"We just… we don't want you to get _hurt_ , Moony," he explained, his voice insistent. "We don't want you to like someone who isn't trustworthy, you know?"

Remus immediately snorted and started laughing, the three of them looking worriedly at him. Had they finally broke Remus?

"Not trustworthy? Merlin, she's a Hufflepuff, she's literally the most trustworthy person!" he chuckled, not even realizing he had let it slip. James and Sirius shared a completely shocked look.

"Knew it," Peter snorted from the ground, smirking.

Later that day, Narelle sat in the Hufflepuff common room, watching Janine pace as she passed her broomstick back and forth between her hands. She was the center chaser for the Hufflepuff team and, recently, had been practicing extra to try and beat Gryffindor. The year before, Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup and she was _livid_. Today, though, her broom wasn't out with fresh polish because of Qidditch—she was planning something _big_ , something _glorious_ , something that needed Narelle and Aria's help.

"How are we going to light fireworks without getting expelled?" she cried. Her hair was in its natural state—straight and falling down to her mid back, her brown eyes wide and her lower lip pouted. "I don't want to get expelled but Oliver—you know Oliver, the cute Ravenclaw?—well, he was like, 'You know, Janine, fireworks sound _super groovy_ , let's do that for Halloween!' Fireworks!"

"'Groovy'?" Aria whispered to Narelle, who shrugged.

"And, I mean, he's just _so darned cute_ , I got all fuddle-brained and was like, Yeah, Oliver! _Fireworks sound great!_ But how in the _hell_ am I supposed to get fireworks in the air, huh? Without Dumbledore himself stomping up to my dorm and being like, guess who's expelled! It's you, Janine McCormick! Pack your hair curlers."

"You need to relax," Narelle laughed a bit, grinning sweetly at Janine. She shot a look at Narelle before sighing loudly and slumping into the chair, rubbing a nick on her broom.

"He's just _so cute_ ," she whined, pouting at her friends. "And hunky. I mean, he's a beater for the quidditch team. And he likes the Kenmare Kestrels! Even though he's _British!_ "

"Sounds like a keeper," Narelle joked, grinning at her terrible pun. Aria rolled her eyes and Janine looked exceptionally displeased. "Sorry, sorry. Look, why do we have to light fireworks outside? I mean, personally, I think it would be much more impressive if we managed to do it in the common room."

"And run the risk of killing Professor Sprout's plants?" Aria laughed bitterly, the three of them glancing at all of the hanging foliage in the Hufflepuff common room. "She would find a way to make that expellable, trust me."

The three grew quiet, frowning slightly as they studied the common room. The only others in the room were two 5th years sitting away from them, whispering about their own Halloween plans over two mugs of hot apple cider. As the day continued, the rain increased, mixing with the sound of the crackling fire for a soothing, cozy background noise. It was a lovely common room, but not much for parties, although they had happened. Narelle could clearly remembered a large party when the Hufflepuffs won the Quidditch cup in her 4th year and everyone got particularly hammered, even herself. They still weren't Gryffindors—their parties were legendary, apparently.

At the thought of the Gryffindors, Narelle's mind wandered from how they could set off fireworks to Remus. To the sound of the whooshing fountain in the courtyard. His amused grin. His scars, pearly in the soft sunlight. One could only wonder where they had come from, and she was suddenly trying to decide how they got there. They had been there since he was a first year, hadn't they? She was so focused on trying to remember a younger Remus that she didn't even notice her friends further discussing the Halloween plan. She zoned out, her eyes on the rippling grass outside, lost in her own thoughts.

As mentioned earlier, Gryffindor parties were _legendary_. Legendary in the sense that everyone crowded in the Gryffindor common room. Silencing charms were placed on the portrait to keep the loud music to a minimum, which was courtesy of Sirius and a few other students, some in 7th year. Alcohol was obtained—by who, no one knew for sure, but it was there and it made everyone loose. People cheered, people laughed, people sang. Mostly everyone was dressed up for the occasion. The Marauders specifically had taken it upon themselves to dress up as each other, Remus sporting some large glasses and James' Quidditch robes. James was wearing a baggy shirt and awkwardly-blue jeans, courtesy of Peter, while Sirius wore one of Remus' jumpers and Peter wore a leather jacket, tight pants, and one of Sirius' band shirts.

The other three—James, Sirius, and Peter—were off entertaining. They were about as close to the life of a Gryffindor party as one could get. Lily Evans, who had started talking to James and Sirius a bit more, was laughing loudly beside them in a pirate's outfit. Remus, however, found himself moving awkwardly with the crowd, making his way over to the windows, a cup of firewhiskey in his hand. It tasted how he imagined sunbeams to and burning like fire as it made its way down his throat, his entire body feeling warm as he continued to drink it.

Typically, he would either be with the Marauders or chatting with someone by the table of food that was always set up even though it was after dinner. Tonight, though, he wanted to watch from the sidelines, to document this into his mind. He hadn't been thinking much about the war but… he remembered a conversation between him and Narelle the previous Friday. It was short and they veered off to sweets rather quickly, but it was fresh in his mind now.

"This is rubbish," Narelle had groaned, staring daggers at the goblet. She had managed to turn half of it into wine while Remus watched, amused. "What is the point of this? There's a war going on at our doorstep, and I'm sitting here turning this into wine. Fabulous."

"Funny," Remus had laughed, "you always seem to be yelling at James for being upset about not knowing more for you-know-who."

"It's different," Narelle insisted, looking up at Remus. "This is taking up some pretty darn good memory space. Charms and things—those are different. That kind of concentration is good for the war, but this? This is brain space I could be using for more important stuff. The freckles on Aria's face, the way lamb tastes at Hogwarts, the view of the stars from my window. Or my friend's favorite candy. I'm a fan of caramel, personally…"

This was the memory that made him stand underneath the window, watching everyone have fun. It was an almost uncomfortable experience, watching quite a few couples snogging while everyone attempted to dance drunkenly. James laughed loudly at something Lily had said, who had her hands on her hips with a proud grin on her face. Sirius' own expression had fallen as he looked around, which happened every time he was sure someone wasn't looking at him. Peter choked a bit on his alcohol as a couple tried to push past him and into the dorms.

It was nearly suffocating, watching all of these people with Remus' sudden thought:

They may all die soon.

If he had to be honest with himself, he panicked. He panicked, and he set his cup down, and he managed to sneak past everyone and to the portrait without being noticed. He panicked, and he opened the portrait, and suddenly he was walking down all of the stairs, trying to get away. Being alone was something he was good at, but running away wasn't.

All he could think of was _what if they died? What if, one day, I live in a world without James? Without Sirius, without Peter? What if, one day, they die and I'm not by their side to die with them like we've planned since we were 11? The war is upon us—we all know it—but do we really_ know _the outcome of war other than pictures of the deceased? What do we do if, God forbid, we lose everyone we love?_

He didn't know where he was going. He had nothing on his mind except telling James, sitting on his bed at the Potter's house, that he couldn't just "waltz up" and kill you-know-who. James could. James could very well _waltz up_ and try to kill him, but he would die in the process. Remus knew he would.

So he wandered. He wandered, listening to the sound of the rain on the windows. He wandered, past the Great Hall, planning on walking to the kitchens for some chocolate, but was instead met by a gaggle of giggling girls.

His steps faltered before stopping at the top of a few stairs that lead down to the Hufflepuff common room and, just past that, the kitchen. Sitting in front of the barrels were a couple of girls, their giggles high-pitched and jingly. He only recognized three of them—Aria Kilburne, Janine McChormick, and another girl who he was pretty positive was the Hufflepuff's Quidditch captain. Her hair was brown and cropped short, her face flushed as she laughed. In her hands was a bottle of firewhiskey and—Jesus, how did these underage students even _get_ alcohol?

Aria looked up and saw Remus, her drunkenly giddy expression sobering up suddenly.

"Oh shit, oh _shit_ , oh my God, we're so sorry, please don't tell Professor Sprout—!" she stammered, moving to scramble to her feet. He was confused for a second before realizing she thought he was on duty. Which, come to think of it, he probably _should_ have been. Instead, he was wearing Quidditch robes that were surprisingly uncomfortable.

"Whoa, hey," he laughed awkwardly, holding up his hand. "Relax, I was just heading to the kitchens. I'm not a prefect for tonight."

"Oh, thank Merlin," Aria sighed, relieved, as she sank back onto the ground. He smiled awkwardly, walking down the stairs and almost past them, but she spoke up again. "Hey. Are you and Rellie a thing?"

He paused, his hands shoved in his pockets, and he turned towards her. The other girls—there was just one other from the three he knew—watched him carefully. He felt himself flush. To be quite honest, he had never heard her called _Rellie,_ but was pretty positive they meant Narelle. They weren't anything, he was sure. They were two kids who helped each other with work and who had walked around together after midnight. Twice. So he decided to tell the truth.

"I help her with Transfiguration, that's all," he smiled.

"Hey," Aria said again, even though she didn't need to get his attention once more. "If you two _do_ become a thing, can you hook me up with Sirius?"

"Great hair," the girl he didn't recognize nodded slowly with appreciation, staring off into the distance.

"Oh, yeah, definitely," the Quidditch girl agreed, widening her eyes at her friend. "It must be magic." She snorted and started laughing drunkenly at her own joke.

Remus, however, was suddenly _extremely_ uncomfortable at the thought of getting Sirius a girl or two to shag. He'd be grateful, Remus knew that for sure, but he wasn't particularly comfortable with it. Not to mention that it would be the best friend of his possible girlfriend.

Except, it wasn't possible. Narelle wasn't a _possible_ anything, she was just a girl.

"Uh," he laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. "Sure thing, Aria. Sure thing. I've got to…" he trailed off, gesturing to the kitchen, and smiled politely before walking hurriedly away.

Aria shouted him a thank you before the girls started laughing at the bizarre conversation. He found himself soon tickling the pear of a portrait before climbing inside, relaxing at the calmness within the kitchens. A few house elves greeted him and he gently asked for just a small amount of chocolate and some apple cider. He sat down in front of the opening to the kitchens, watching them hurry about—washing dishes, preparing for the next day's breakfast, grabbing Remus some fresh food. He thanked them gently, daydreaming and mulling over everything as he slowly ate.

Remus wasn't sure how long he'd been in the kitchens, but when he left, the girls were gone. What was left of them was an empty bottle of firewhiskey. So as to not get them in trouble, he picked it up and carried it with him on his way to the Gryffindor dorms. Whatever alcohol had been in him was gone as he made his way up the stairs, glancing out the windows. The clouds had parted, revealing the quickly-waxing moon. The next full moon wouldn't be until the next Saturday and, as much as he hated full moons on weekends, he was always grateful for them. He wouldn't miss any class or need to catch up on any sleep… he would just be wasting a Saturday. In agony.

Of course, loads of Saturdays are wasted. Usually by doing things people don't enjoy, so wasn't that just agony, too?

He made his way silently into the common room. The party was still going, just as rowdy. He managed to get past people and to the dorms, hurrying up the steps without even glancing around for his friends.

They weren't difficult to find apparently, because as he was taking off his fake glasses, the real James Potter burst through the door. His face was flushed, his hair a mess, and he was not very steady on his feet.

"And _where the hell_ did you go?" he demanded loudly, sounding shrill like Remus' mother.

"For a walk—" Remus started, but Sirius cut him off.

" _Were_ wolf?" he called drunkenly, poking his head over James' shoulder. Remus blushed with embarrassment as Sirius' face lit up. " _There_ wolf! Aha! James, we found Moony."

"Jesus Christ," Remus hissed, walking over and pulling the two of them inside before slamming the door shut. It was an old joke that Sirius found down-right hilarious when drunk, but gave Remus a burst of anxiety in case anyone sober overheard. Sirius lit himself a cigarette, flopping down onto his bed with a drunken grin, while James looked as though he were about to ground him. "I was on a walk," Remus explained again, slowly this time so it could fully go through James' drunken brain. Usually, James was too far gone to notice the snide tone in Remus' voice, but he wasn't that drunk tonight. Which was a surprise.

"You bailed on us," James pointed out, glaring when he detected Remus' snide voice.

"I got claustrophobic. I left."

"What, to meet the mysterious Hufflpuff girl you won't tell your _best fucking friends_ about?" James snapped, gesturing angrily at Remus, whose expression fell to absolute shock.

"Jesus, Prongs," he shook his head. "If it were anything, I would tell you. You guys know that."

"No we don't!" James cried, rolling his eyes angrily. If it wasn't such a personal thing they were talking about, Remus would be rather amused by how James was acting like a 13 year old girl. "You've never had a _crush_ before, Moony! Not really, anyway! And here you are, and we're _worried_ about you. Do you know how bad you are at lying, for Merlin's sake? What if this girl looks at you and asks you what all the scars are about and then you just tell her because, oh, Moony's in _love_! And she turns out to be _super terrible_ and _untrustworthy!_ Then you've got a girl who is now terrified of you and now knows _the worst thing about you!_ "

There was so much all at once. So many words, so many horribly insulting things, so many worries confirmed for Remus as he listened to James yell at him. His voice raised the more his spoke, gesticulating angrily as he did so, leaning forward towards Remus who took a step back. He didn't know what to respond to first. Remus opened his mouth to speak before closing it and thinking for a second.

"The worst thing about me?" he asked quietly, studying James' face, which fell suddenly earnest.

"Merlin, no, Remus," he said gently, his hazel eyes widening. "That's not what I—"

"You think," Remus spoke slowly, weighing his words, tasting the venom as they left his mouth. "You think that I can't be with someone because I'm too much of a monster."

"No—"

"Because, of course, she would be too _untrustworthy_ and because I'm naïve enough to just tell her the 'worst thing about me'—"

"Christ, Moony, come on—"

"Maybe I've thought of this already, huh? Maybe I've already thought about it long before ever having a crush. You ever grown up knowing full well you could never be in love, Prongs? Huh? Have you ever realized that you couldn't risk such a thing just in case you were killed because you opened up to the wrong person?"

"Remus," James said quietly, begging.

"Sod off, James," Remus spat, no longer trying to hold back his rage and hurt. "I don't even _like_ her. I don't even _know_ her. You know what I know about her? She likes caramel and her parents were in Gryffindor. That's it! That's the extent of it! So don't you come in here yelling at me all worried because you think I'm in love, because you know _god damn well_ that you would be able to tell."

The two stared at each other, James looking as though he had shrunk a bit while Remus shouted at him. Remus, on the other hand, looked like a mix between the verge of tears and literally being able to breathe fire. He stared James down until his hazel eyes dropped to the ground, looking at his hands shaking from the adrenaline and the alcohol. Sirius watched the two of them, not flinching when Remus shot him a look as well before he walked over to his bed. The two Marauders watched their best friend change into a baggy shirt and pull off James' Quidditch robes, throwing them angrily across the room onto his bed. Remus didn't say another word before grabbing his beige jumper, climbing into bed, and yanking the drapes closed.


	8. Chapter 8

News of the war had lessened strangely with the coming of November. The leaves were nearly gone, the air chill and the clouds ever-present at Hogwarts. Narelle had started counting the more time she hadn't heard from her parents in months, then weeks, then days. School had been going on for over two months now, and it was the 20th of November. The leaves had fallen, the air had grown cold, and just the other night was the first snow. The snow had stayed even, just a few inches all around the school and down to Hogsmeade. Typically, Narelle would have been ecstatic. Typically, Narelle would have miraculously woken up early the day of a Hogsmeade trip and _begged_ Aria to have a snowball fight with her.

But things weren't typical anymore. Things weren't normal.

She was still up miraculously early Saturday morning, dressed in a crimson sweater, jeans, and leather boots that she only brought out when it was snowing. Her blue eyes weren't focused on the fake snowflakes in the Great Hall, though. Instead, they were watching for owls, for a letter from her parents. It wasn't that she honestly _expected_ it—but one must have hope, shouldn't they?

Aria was awfully uncomfortable with her best friend being as quiet as she was. Janine had run off with Oliver, the two of them becoming quite an item after Narelle helped her successfully light fireworks in the common room. They were a good duo, Janine finally having someone to have lengthy discussions with, but now she seemed to be gone all the time. Aria was hoping for Narelle to be her typically bubbly self from snow, but she looked even more tired than she was on a day-to-day basis.

"Potatoes?" Aria offered with a small smile, holding the dish out to her friend. Narelle glanced at them, wrinkling her nose.

"No, thank you," she said politely.

"We're still going to Hogsmeade, right?" Aria asked desperately.

"Of course."

"Will we be having a snowball fight, dear Rellie?"

"Only if you call me 'Rellie' one more time, and I won't be easy on you," Narelle grinned slightly, glancing over at the Gryffindor table before thoughtfully sipping her coffee.

Remus looked—and felt—amazing. He felt spectacular. The next day was a new moon—his favorite phase, really. It was the perfect median, the two days surrounding it making him feel so ecstatically _normal_. Things were going swimmingly. He and James got over their small spat, and slowly the Marauders caught onto the gir l Remus had been spending so much time with. And that was another thing. Every Friday, he and Narelle had been meeting and chatting more and studying less. They began to smile at each other in the hallways and, just the other day, were chatting about something before class started. He really, truly, felt as though he could call her his friend, and it made him feel like the sun.

Saturday morning, he happily ate his breakfast, listening to the Marauders and chiming in now and then. The four of them were planning on going down with the rest of the school for the Hogsmeade trip. It was always a treat—butterbeer shared, sweets bought, maybe even a stroll through Zonko's Joke Shop. Most of the time, the four of them made it to the small house made just for Remus' transformations. Rumors had quickly spread about it after their first year, the locals of Hogsmeade dubbing it "The Shrieking Shack." Little did they know, the inside was somewhat livable. Sure, the wallpaper was a little torn up and the cushioning was exploding in one of the sofas, but it was good enough for four 16-year-old boys.

"Do we have any exciting plans for Hogsmeade?" Remus piped up, lining an egg up on a piece of toast. James cocked a brow.

"Do _you_ have any exciting plans for Hogsmeade?" he inquired, stabbing into some pancakes. They had talked to him like this for the past week—always insinuating he was attached at the hip with his new friends. None of them mentioned her name, treating it as though _they_ were the only ones that knew.

"Why, Prongs, I _do!_ " Remus responded sarcastically, widening his green eyes. "You know, completely left my mind, but I have to buy some sweets from Honeydukes. My, exciting, isn't it?"

James grinned in response, shaking his head.

"We don't have any exciting plans, no. Just a stroll through Zonko's. Laughing at Peter as he miserably tries to flirt with girls. The usual."

"Ah, lovely, that's my favorite part of Hogsmeade," Remus laughed as Peter threw a blueberry at James, who responded by laughing.

Narelle and Aria finished breakfast quietly, Narelle staying silent as they did so. Aria tried multiple times to egg Narelle into a conversation, but she decided against it. Along with the rest of the students from 3rd year and over, they made their way to the trail to Hogsmeade after breakfast. As soon as she was in the cold air, Narelle relaxed a bit, smiling at the snow-capped mountains and rolling hills around them. The trees, still clinging onto some leaves, were sagging with the snow and they looked glorious.

The snow, to Narelle, was the calmest weather to ever have. Rain was a close second, but it happened all-year round, so it was less wonderful to her. Snow, however—snow was _pure_. It was beautiful, shimmery, refreshing. It was the most wonderful thing to ever happen during the holidays, especially Christmastime. Snow was a calm blanket, something to cover the world as rebirth slowly formed under their feet.

Of course, it would have been sweeter and calmer, if it weren't for those meddling Marauders laughing a ways behind her and Aria.

"Do they ever shut up?" Narelle asked with a shake of her head, looking over her shoulder at the boys behind her. James had his arms slung over Sirius and Peter, belting out a drinking song while the other three left. _Good Christ_ , she thought bitterly, _did someone slip whiskey in his pumpkin juice?_

"It's a bit funny," Aria mused, laughing to herself at James' horrible singing. Narelle just shook her head, sliding her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. She could deal with this, she decided. Hogsmeade was in sight now and James' singing died down, leaving her with just the noise of him whispering and the sound of snow crunching under her feet. She and Aria could go to Honeydukes, get themselves something sweet to eat, and then maybe wander around the neighborhood… Aria's small gasp made Narelle's thoughts stop dead in their tracks and she furrowed her brows at her friend.

"What?"

"I completely forgot! I'm meeting Dawn at Madam Puddifoots. Or, spying for her, mostly," Aria's face fell. Dawn was their dorm mate, and she was about as boisterous as Aria. She had recently taken a liking to another Hufflepuff boy in their year, and was currently… spying on him?

"You are not," Narelle shook her head, widening her eyes. "Are you two just going to sit there and drink tea while watching couples snog? That sounds mortifying, Aria."

"Well, we'll make it fun—" Aria began to insist.

"You're going to _make fun of_ snogging couples, you mean," Narelle protested, and her friend just grinned at her. She pushed the sleeve of her deep blue pea coat up and looked at her watch. It was a gift from Narelle a couple years ago, and she was still surprised Aria hadn't managed to break it.

"I've got to go. I'll only be there for a little bit. If you suspect I've been gone too long, you'll come save me right?" Aria's deep brown eyes widened at Narelle, who stared at her for a moment. They were coming close on Hogsmeade—it was only about four minutes or so away—and she sighed.

"Fine, yeah, go be disgusted," she laughed, waving her hand dismissively. Aria thanked her friend excitedly before giving her elbow a squeeze and hurrying off.

She had completely forgotten the Marauders behind her and strolled happily, looking around at the scenery. Hogsmeade looked like a snow globe. The quaint houses were covered in glittering snow, smoke billowing out of their chimneys, the smell of a homey fire rather distinct. Students were seen walking around on the main street, the younger ones looking rather ecstatic to be away from the school for some time. The Hogsmeade trips were always lovely, bringing the entire school together in the feeling of _finally_ getting away from homework. As much as some 6th and 7th years wish they could get away, those who were prone to slacking often stayed in to get caught up on homework.

If Narelle had to be honest with herself, it was a lovely afternoon. The perfect afternoon, to be exact. The snow, the laughter, the anticipation of chocolate—

Suddenly, something _very_ cold and _very_ wet smacked into the back of her neck.

Her immediate reaction was to shriek.

Narelle's hand flew to the back of her neck, feeling the snow as some of it fell off of her. She spun around to face the Marauders, James' grinning with laughter while Peter snorted and Sirius chuckled. The three of them erupted into laughter as her face turned bright red and she whipped out her wand, jabbing it into the air towards James. She was so completely mortified and embarrassed, she hadn't even noticed Remus loudly scolding him.

"Potter, you _git!_ " she cried, feeling her face flush as she waved her wand angrily. Small, yellow sparks shot up, but quickly died. "You're the absolute _worst!_ What is _wrong with you!_ "

Remus looked as infuriated as Narelle looked mortified, and she continued to yell at James until a hand was on her elbow. She looked up, her eyes landing onto Remus, who was glaring at his friends.

"Come on, mate," he said angrily. "That was _childish_." The venom and bitterness that slipped into each letter of "childish" made James' face fall a bit. Of course, James was a man with a plan, and he refused to back down from his "childish" behavior.

"I'm just having a bit of fun!" James protested, but there was something in his gaze that made Narelle wonder if he was attacking her or Remus.

Remus shook his head, looking exceptionally disappointed, before murmuring for Narelle to "come on." His voice was much softer now and she turned around with him, glancing at the Marauders. She faintly heard James say _"I told you it would work."_

The two of them walked away and onto the streets of Hogsmeade, Remus looking extremely embarrassed. His cheeks were flushed and he wouldn't look directly at him.

"I'm so sorry," he sighed, his hand still on her elbow. He gave it a small squeeze and they stopped, Narelle shooting the Marauders a glare as they made a turn towards who-knows-what. _Where were they even going?_

"Your friend's an ass, Lupin," she spat, watching them walk away.

"Oh, come on," he let out a faint, forced laugh. "I thought we were on a first name basis now." She glanced at him as he pulled the sleeve of his beige jumper over his hand, reaching back to awkwardly brush snow off of Narelle's neck. Her eyes focused on the jumper, eyebrows raised. Somehow she had completely forgotten that he still had that. She forgot it existed, as if the two of them meeting in the middle of the night was a dream. "Let me buy you a butterbeer," Remus said gently, breaking Narelle's concentration on the knitting pattern of his sweater. She eyed him carefully and he sighed, shaking snow from his sleeve. "Please, Narelle. Let me make it up to you for my asshole of a best friend."

Narelle stared at him for a second before deciding that _one_ butterbeer wouldn't kill her. She wanted nothing to do with a Marauder at that moment. She was too heavily embarrassed, remembering how she started yelling and waving her wand. God, what was a she, an old geezer? She studied his face for a moment as he looked at her desperately, his scars beautiful in the light of a lantern to her right. He looked about as earnest and honest as always and, carefully, she nodded.

The two of them walked to The Three Broomsticks, Narelle pulling her wet hair up into her stubby ponytail. Remus still looked guilty, although a bit excited. He kept glancing at Narelle who was watching the students around them, her hands back into her back pockets. When they reached the cozy pub, he pulled the door open for her and she flashed him a small smile before stepping in. Together, they found a small table for two by a window.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Remus smiled gently at her, pushing up his sleeves before making his way back to the front to get their drinks. As always, The Three Broomsticks was full of different wizards. Narelle looked around, resting her arms on the table as she studied the different groups. A table of wizards that were in their 20s or 30s whispered to each other. They glanced around shiftily, one with a face of stubble making eye contact with Narelle. She quickly looked away, anxiously popping her knuckles.

Nowhere felt truly, 100% safe anymore. Not even the sleepy, snowy town of Hogsmeade, apparently.

Remus came back quickly, grinning at her as he set down their drinks. He sat down across from her, taking a sip of his butterbeer before speaking. His arms were covered in the scars, one large, jagged gash sprawlimg its way up his left arm. They looked like a story—one that, Narelle realized, she would love to hear one day.

"Thank you," she smiled gently, wrapping her hands around the mug. "I'm sorry I freaked out, I just—"

"I get it," Remus nodded, smiling at her. "No one really _prefers_ to get hit with a snowball. I should be the one that's sorry, I saw him pick up the snow but I didn't know he was going to actually do it."

Narelle frowned, shaking her head as she took a sip of her butterbeer. "I don't understand why _me_. Wrong place, wrong time, maybe." She looked out the window, her eyes landing on Madam Puddifoot's tea shop. She tried to stare into the windows to catch a fiery mane of curls or a head of mousy-brown hair, but those damned frilly pink curtains were in the way.

"Have you ever been in there?" Remus asked casually. He suddenly regretted the question—he didn't want to hear about her snogging some bloke.

"Once," she grinned, rolling her eyes. "I was helping Janine—you know, Janine McCormick—try to break up this one boy and his girlfriend. I forgot who it was; maybe it was Travis, who's a year above us… Anyway, it didn't go well and we got kicked out."

Remus burst into laughter, trying to imagine Narelle getting kicked out of Madam Puddifoot's. He actually had never heard of someone getting kicked out of there. You went there to trade spit, not ruin young love.

"I went in there looking for Sirius once," he chuckled, shaking his head. "Merlin, it was _awful_. I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of watching your best friend stick his tongue in someone's mouth, but it's surprisingly uncomfortable."

Narelle had made the bad decision of taking a drink as Remus said that and started laughing so hard she had to cover her mouth. Remus quickly fell into laughter with her, watching her trying not to spit out the butterbeer, quickly making a face and laughing.

"It went up my nose!" she wailed, laughing harder now as her face turned red. "Oh, ow, _ow_ , oh my god, that's funny."

The two of them laughed at each other, their faces flushed as some of the other patrons gave them odd looks. It wasn't common anymore to see two kids laughing that hard, not with the gloom that was quickly spreading like ink in water. Yet, here they were, Remus diving into a story, the two of them as bright as sunbeams. Narelle listened happily as he gesticulated; he was telling a story about one of the pranks the Marauders had tried to pull off in their second year. He seemed fueled by her laughter, his face lighting up as he continued.

They sat like that for a while, going through one round of butterbeers. Narelle had completely forgotten about needing to save Aria. When she finished the last of her butterbeer, she stood. Remus, not realizing was she was doing, stood too, face falling.

"What are you doing?" she laughed, taking his empty mug as well. "Sit down, I'm just going to go get us another round." She smiled sweetly at him and he smiled back, his entire body growing warm as she walked away. _A second round_ , he thought, turning back to the table and drumming his fingers on the table, beaming. _She's staying for a second round._

Narelle returned soon after, her sleeves pushed up, as she set their second round down onto the table. She slid into the seat across from him, taking a sip of her butterbeer, raising her eyebrows at him.

"So," she stated firmly, wiping some foam away from the cupid's bow of her lips, which Remus felt suddenly dawn to. "Tell me about yourself."

Remus let out a small laugh, cocking a brow at her.

"Do you have some questions, or do you want me to just tell you my life story?"

"Life story," she grinned, "then I'll go."

Remus took a deep breath, thinking his words over for a minute. "Well…" he glanced around to see if anyone was listening, relaxing when he realized that all of the chatter would drown his own words out. "My dad's a wizard, mum's a muggle. Dad works for the ministry, and my mum has a knack for designing clothes, surprisingly. She's got a little shop in Ludlow, actually. I'm an only child, and we moved a lot for… many reasons, really. I didn't have much friends growing up. We live in Surrey now, nothing too exciting. That's about it, honestly. My parents are lovely, my mother is a fabulous cook, and I have a pretty good collection of books. My dad loves Quidditch and I believe he thinks my biggest fault is that I'm awful on a broom. Good enough to get somewhere, sure, but not good enough to play a sport." Narelle laughed softly and he grinned. "How about you? Tell me about your ex-Gryffindor parents."

"Oh, God," she laughed, shaking her head and looking down at her hands. "Well, my parents met pretty young, got married pretty young, and had me pretty young. Graduated high school, got married, had a kid—they barely did anything in between. My mother's half-blood, so she wanted me to grow up in the Muggle world, but my dad—who, by the way, came from a _long line_ of pureblood Gryffindors—told her that it was crazy to stunt the magic in me. So she said, I guess I'll be crazy then, and he left, started working in the Ministry. Neither of them told me much of anything about the wizarding world while I was growing up, so I have _no clue_ what my father does for a living. My mother—whose mother came from a line of women specializing in Divination—decided to do just that. So she was gone a lot, and I stayed with some of our neighbors while she was gone. When I got into Hogwarts, they were extremely disappointed when I was sorted, obviously, so I…" Narelle paused, looking down at her hands. She hadn't told anyone this much in such a short amount of time. "I just, decided to become the best Hufflepuff I can be, you know?" She looked up at Remus with a small smile, noticing his face had fallen into a look of sympathy.

"That sounds really rough," he said quietly, and she laughed softly.

"It sounds like that, but not really. The holidays are rather relaxing since I just get to sit and cook to my heart's delight."

"You like to cook?" he smiled sweetly, and she was suddenly off on the art of cooking.

He listened to her talk, her face lighting up as she talked about it, seeing her differently. Her hair, as usual, had fallen slightly out of her ponytail, but she didn't seem to mind. Her blue eyes glinted and he noticed a small dusting of freckles right under her eyes, so light that they were nearly unnoticeable. She looked lovely in the light of the lanterns—golden, almost—and he realized that this was exactly why James threw snow at her. This feeling, blooming in his chest, had been stunted for too long. He knew that now, but…

He was terrified. Suddenly, he was terrified.

The two talked a bit longer as they finished their butterbeer. Remus made a gentle excuse of needing to catch up with the Marauders, and she nodded with a sweet smile. They walked to the door together before parting, Remus watching Narelle walk up to Madam Puddifoot's window and tapping. As he was about to walk away, Aria burst out of the tea shop groaning with the girl Remus had saw Halloween night and didn't recognize. He hesitated, wanting to walk back up to Narelle and ask her to take a long stroll with him, but turned to the Shrieking Shack instead.

His walk there was quick and he pulled his sleeves down, shoving his hands into his pockets. To put it simply, he was scared and panicked. His thoughts bounced back and forth between the fear and uncertainty, and Narelle, face flushed as she laughed so hard butterbeer went up her nose. Narelle, listening intently to him as if she could listen to him ramble for years. Narelle, staring at her hands as she talked about her parents. Narelle, talking about cooking as if there were nothing that could make her happier.

Remus could hear his friends laughing animatedly in the Shrieking Shack and he walked around to the back. They had left the broken back door slightly ajar for him, knowing he would come over eventually, and he shoved it open. Suddenly, he was angry. Suddenly, he felt heart broken. They had lead him to this lovely girl, and he _couldn't even have her_. He couldn't be with her. He couldn't trust her, not with the most monstrous thing inside him.

His steps faltered as he walked up to his friends, sitting on the floor, silent as he approached. They all grinned at him but, upon looking at his face, eyes welled with tears, their faces fell.

"I like her," he said desperately. "I _really_ like her. God, what am I going to do?" His voice broke and he slowly sank into a sitting position, looking up at the ceiling, as if truly asking for God.

"Moony," he heard Sirius sigh; "you're a bloody Gryffindor. You _go for it_ , that's what you do."


	9. Chapter 9

The beginning of December came with different decorations in the halls of Hogwarts. The enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall began to snow, red flowers sprouted everywhere, and Hufflepuffs had made wreaths to hang all around the school. The plants in the Hufflepuff common room became festive—crimson for Christmas, enchanted blue and silver flowers for Hanukkah. Despite all of the attempts at holiday cheer, the darkness of the war still surrounded everyone. The rumors grew more hushed but also more frequent.

One December morning, Narelle woke up a bit later than her dorm mates as usual. She got dressed with them, chatted about nonsense, and made her way to the Great Hall beside Aria. The past week or so, however, she had grown anxious. There weren't any letters coming in from her parents, and every day that owls swooped above her head she felt her heart stop. She shakily poured herself some coffee, holding the mug close to her like a shield as she looked at the cloudy ceiling. _Any minute now_ , she thought, trying to picture her father's handwriting or how her mother looked. _Any minute and there'll be a letter in my hands. I'm sure of it._

"Toast?" Aria offered as she began to put food on two plates. It seemed like a normal day to her, but Narelle felt as if this was the breaking point. Her eyes didn't leave the ceiling.

"No, thanks," Narelle murmured.

"You need to eat something. We've apparently got a big thing to do in charms today," Aria protested, which caught Narelle's attention. She glanced at her friend.

"What?"

"Rumor has it that we're going to be practicing the patronus charm," Aria chirped, putting food on Narelle's plate and pushing it towards her with an air of finality. At this, Narelle furrowed her dark brows and looked back at the ceiling.

"Rumor has it," Narelle echoed with a tinge of skepticism in her voice.

At the Gryffindor table, the Marauders were all chatting about nonsense. James was growing bored and insisted they work on something fantastic—a prank, maybe. Maybe sneak out and go flying. Anything to pass the time. The end of the semester was upon them, as well as exams in two weeks, and he was growing anxious to end the semester with a bang. Peter and Sirius laughed and started tossing back and forth ideas while Remus mulled them over, trying to figure out how they could get each one done in time. Yet, his usual focus on shenanigans was shot, as he glanced at the Hufflepuff table. Narelle looked exhausted and annoyed as she listened to some of the girls at her table talk about something that seemed extremely secretive. Her hair was back, as usual, and there were circles under her eyes. They hadn't spoken since going to The Three Broomsticks that past weekend, but when she caught him looking at her, she smiled. He fumbled awkwardly, trying to raise his mug of coffee and wave at the same time, nearly dropping it.

"Shit," he hissed, catching his grip on it and setting it down before averting his gaze back to his friends. James raised his eyebrows.

"Do you want me to throw another snowball at her?" he grinned. Remus rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What were you guys saying about pranking Snivellus?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

The mail came suddenly and Narelle nearly leapt out of her seat to see if she could flag down her father's owl. They birds swooped down to drop off packages all around, pecking at some of their owner's food before being shooed away. Aria got a letter from her father, Janine getting a postcard from her mother. ("She's in Venice, look!") When the owl that usually dropped off Narelle's mail stopped by, all he dropped was The Daily Prophet. Narelle's heart sank as she looked down at the newspaper, not a sign of a letter on the bird.

"Thanks," she murmured, unwrapping the paper and staring at it somberly. All they wrote about anymore was the war, Quidditch players, and whether or not anything interesting was happening in politics. However, as Narelle opened the paper, she was greeted with a grim photo on the paper. Immediately, she felt her stomach tie itself into knots.

One the front was a skull with a serpent curling itself around and out of its jaws, writhing against the sky. The headline was in big, black letters, crying the question passing between mouths every day: _**WHO ARE THEY?**_

Aria had looked over Narelle's shoulder as she watched her friend grow pale. She snorted bitterly, her chestnut-colored eyes narrowing.

"Who gives a damn who he is?" she spat. "He doesn't need a human name for us to know who he is."

Narelle stared at it, her hands shaking. She set the paper upside-down and took a drink of her coffee.

"I'm not hungry," she muttered, standing and grabbing her bag. "I'll see you in class." With that, she hurriedly walked out of the Great Hall, anxiously popping her knuckles. The only thing on her mind was her mother's face with darkened, lifeless eyes.

For Remus, class went well as usual. They were prepping for exams and he focused mostly on class, scribbling notes. The only time he felt his mind drifting was in transfiguration, watching Professor McGonagall carefully. All he could think about as she taught the lesson was trying to show Narelle how to do the exact same thing. And then his mind wandered to her, wondering what class she was in, wondering if they were still on for meeting on Friday night. When he began to zone out, he got a sharp look from Professor McGonagall, to which he muttered an apology and continued scribbling his notes.

As soon as charms class came around, Remus' mind was far away. The other three Marauders were chatting and snickering at the people around them. Lily Evans had caught up with them, standing between James and Remus as she talked with the boys. She had grown close with them since Halloween, but James still found himself a bit flustered around her, trying to boast but ending up stammering as he did so. This, luckily, gave Remus an open window to scan their classmates for something, not allowing himself to accept _who_ he was looking for.

The five of them entered Charms and his eyes immediately fell on Narelle. She looked as exhausted as she did that morning, her eyes focused on somewhere far away. A couple of Hufflepuffs were talking with her friend Aria, who laughed loudly as usual. One Hufflepuff—Janine McCormick, to be exact—glanced at Remus before turning back to Aria and whispering something. He felt himself blush and dropped into his seat, turning his back towards the small group.

Professor Flitwick stepped up onto a stack of books, looking around at the class over his small spectacles. His voice was high and shaky, as usual.

"Today," he declared, pausing for effect, "we are going to learn the patronus charm."

A murmuring ran through the class and James eyes widened excitedly as he looked at his friend. Behind him, Remus heard Aria hiss "told you" to Narelle, who snorted.

"This isn't going to be on your exam later this week, and it is not going to have to be perfected anytime soon," Professor Flitwick explained, holding his wand carefully. "This is a test of concentration and patience."

He continued to quickly explain it. When he went forth to show them, he stepped into the front of the class. " _Expecto patronum!_ " he cried in his squeaky voice, and what looked like mist sprouted from his wand and swirled evenly in front of him. It glowed and glimmered, some of the students letting out _ooh_ s and _ahh_ s.

"Due to practice, I'm able to make a non-corporeal patronus," he said proudly. "What you are aiming for, however, is for your patronus to form the shape of an animal. A familiar, if you will! Now, up, up," he gestured erratically. The students stood from their desks, grabbing their wands and taking off their robes. With a few waves of his wand, Professor Flitwick had all of the desks push back so the room was empty, giving the 6th years room to practice. "Good luck!" he squeaked.

"I'm _so_ ready for this spell," James beamed at his friends, rolling up his sleeves and running a hand through his hair.

Remus watched him try quite a few times, finally able to muster a stag. The stag pranced around the four of them as they all laughed before it melted into wisps of light. Peter chuckled.

"Well then, Prongs," he teased with a grin. "How very original."

He and James started teasing each other, Peter finally succumbing to producing one. When a rat appeared before him and began running around their heads, the plump boy's face grew red as James howled with laughter. Sirius ruffled Peter's hair, who swatted at Sirius' hand, the four of them laughing lovingly at him. Everyone in class had no clue what had the four in such riotous laughter, especially after Sirius managed to produce a dog, but they ignored it.

"Alright, Moony," Sirius grinned at him. "It's your turn."

"Fine, fine," Remus laughed nervously. For some reason, his wand shook in his hand, and he tightened his grip to hide it. He didn't want the others to see the nervousness in his eyes. There was only one thought on his mind: _what if it was what he feared most?_

He flashed his friends an unconvincing smile before trying to focus on his happiest memory. A few thoughts went through his mind. Him and the Marauders in his room, laughing so hard they were crying. His mother cooking for him right after his first transition. The feeling during a new moon, knowing how long it would be before it would be back. Getting butterbeer with Narelle, her laughing so hard it came out her nose and them both falling over laughing. He smiled.

" _Expecto patron—"_

Suddenly, before he could get the words out, there was a horrified gasp behind him. His concentration died and he looked behind him at whoever it was. Narelle had dropped her wand in shock, a hand over her mouth. He turned just in time to see a badger made out of wispy light run around her legs before dissolving into the air. As soon as she watched it disappear, she looked up to see multiple students staring at her with funny looks. Her face turned bright red and she pushed her bangs up, only for them to flop back down on her forehead. She grabbed her wand and averted her gaze, clearing her throat. After an awkward moment, everyone went back to practicing.

"Talk about a cliché," snorted Sirius. Peter chuckled.

Remus took a deep breath, pulling his eyes off of her and going back to focusing. His friends started debating the probability of Remus' patronus being a lion, or Severus Snape's being a snake. ("He's slimy like one, you know," James growled, to which Peter replied, "Have you ever touched a snake, Prongs? They're not slimy." This then sent Sirius on a roll of inappropriate jokes involving Peter and snakes.) Remus' eyes were focused on his wand and he took a deep, steady breath. With a flick of his wand, he declared:

" _Expecto patronum_."

The next few seconds were so slow to him, so steady and terrifying. The light came out of his wand like mist and his friend's quieted. It then slowly grew, slowly became a recognizable form, a—

"Are you _fucking kidding me?!"_ he screamed.

The shriek from Remus sent the entire class into a deafening silence. They watched as he yelled in rage, turning on his heel and hurried to the door, his eyes burning with fury. On his way out, he shoved over an empty desk, throwing the door open before bolting down the hall.

All that was left behind was the figure of a beautiful wolf, howling silently to the ceiling of the classroom. After a very long second, Sirius was shoving his friends out of the way, calling to Remus. James was hot on his heels, and Peter gathered their things before rushing out. Lily's face grew pale—not from recognition, but from the deep understanding of something _awful_ —and ran out without a word.

Narelle stood dumbfounded as she watched them all run out, not even blinking when Aria nonchalantly declared, "Well I'll be damned."


	10. Chapter 10

It was the weekend before the holidays. Exams were over, students were ecstatic about getting to see their family, and the entire castle seemed to shimmer. There was a whole new feeling of lightness in the air. The news of war was slowly letting up, The Daily Prophet focusing more and more on semi-frivolous things. Everything seemed lovely, as though the universe had finally learned how to exhale.

Of course, for most.

The Friday afternoon before everyone would be leaving for the holidays the next morning, Narelle and Remus had sat themselves in the library. Ever since the first snow, the two of them remained inside for their study sessions. However, they also had soon stopped studying, especially after Hogsmeade. They spent the afternoons chatting, Narelle filling him in on the gossip that she had been overhearing from Janine. They didn't talk about anything extremely serious—she didn't talk about her parents not writing to her, he didn't talk about when he felt sick near the full moons. Every conversation that they had was casual and lovely, both of them perfectly happy to just be in each other's company. Until after Remus' outburst in charms that previous Monday.

Everyone had been whispering about it, and it bothered Narelle to no end. Two days before Friday, Janine sat with her at breakfast and was gossiping about it.

"It's quite absurd," Janine hissed to the small group of Hufflepuffs listening in. "I mean, quiet kid like him, why get so worked up over a wolf?"

"Jesus, would you _shut up_ about it?" Narelle had found herself snapping, shooting Janine a nasty glare. When none of the other Hufflepuffs stood up for Remus, instead just stared at her, she flushed with embarrassment. She said nothing more, just grabbed her bag and stormed out of the Great Hall to wait outside of the potions classroom until classes started.

As they sat across from each other in their spot of the library, neither Remus nor Narelle made eye contact for quite some time. Each minute was excruciating for the other—should one of them speak up? Should they ask about it? Should they ignore it and start talking about what they were doing for the holidays?

Narelle was consumed with worry for him while Remus felt as though his insecurities and heartbreak was taking over. He knew that she would see something, notice something. His lycanthropy was a disease that could never be cured, a monstrosity within him that would drive everyone away. The only people who stayed were the Marauders and his parents—the people that loved him unconditionally. He wasn't sure what romantic love felt like, and he was positive she could never love him unconditionally, so she was completely out of the picture. And yet… he still hurried to their little table next to the window after classes. He still searched for her in the halls. He still couldn't stand the idea of not seeing her before the two of them parted for the holidays.

He didn't want to think about it, but it was _everywhere_. After class, the Marauders and even Lily Evans sat around him like a shield, shooting everyone nasty looks if they were eyeing him too much. It was blatant, like a flashing sign above his head: _**WARNING! SCREAMS AT WOLVES!**_ He was scared to think about it especially in front of Narelle, as if she had some wondrous ability to read his mind. Remus was aware at how implausible that was, but it still terrified him.

Lastly, he was bitter. He was enraged. Disgusted, even. The _vilest_ thing about him _was what represented him_. He could never get away with it. Sure, he was born _normal_ , born without his "furry little problem," but it was apparently still meant to be. Fate or whatever. God, what a _ridiculous_ and _disgusting_ …

"Remus," he heard Narelle say softly and he looked up, panicked she _had_ read his mind. Instead of disgust, though, he was greeted with a kind smile. "Do you want to go for a walk? I—I understand if you don't want to talk, but I feel guilty making you sit here."

Remus was dumbfounded. _She_ felt guilty? Why would she feel guilty for anything?

"That, actually… That sounds lovely, Narelle."

Her face lit up slightly and they stood, gathering their things and placing them in their bags. As they made out of the library, anyone in their year who looked at Remus was met by a scalding look from Narelle. He felt oddly protected, despite her being a good half foot shorter than him. She looked as though she was ready to hex anyone who said a thing.

All he could think about was a wispy badger wrapping around her legs, her eyes wide with shock.

They began to wander the halls silently, their arms brushing as they walked side-by-side. She looked tired. Then again, Remus realized, she seemed to be looking more and more tired with each passing day. She yawned and he studied her. _Maybe her night terrors ar_ _e_ _coming back_ , he thought, furrowing his brows.

"Have you been getting enough sleep?" he asked gently, raising an eyebrow.

"Huh?" she glanced at him, eyes widening, before realizing what he had said and looking back down at her black Mary Janes. "Oh, um… Not really." Narelle thought of all of her recent, nearly sleepless nights with every passing day without a letter. Her mother always sent her a letter towards the holidays to let her know whether or not she would be home. As well as that, her father sent her at _least_ a Christmas card featuring his new, what? Year old son? Narelle was feeling like a little kid again, and hating it. She missed her mother's hugs, missed her laugh, missed spending afternoons with her father when she was little. She missed the feeling of complete certainty when she was younger, knowing her parents were always alright and that she would learn if otherwise immediately. This uncertainty, this constant looking in the papers for her father, was exhausting.

Remus could see this plain on her face. Not that he knew anything about her parents but, whatever it was, it was visibly weighing her down. He slowed to a stop, reaching out for her elbow, and she stopped, looking up at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, searching her face. She needed to re-do her ponytail, he noticed. When didn't she, though?

"It's nothing," Narelle tried with a forced smile.

"No, it's not," he said pointedly, raising his brows. "If I drag you to a place to sit down, will you tell me? You look as if someone weighed the world on your shoulders."

"That's not physically possible," she said sarcastically and he let out a laugh, pulling his hand away from her arm and placing his hands in his pockets. "But, sure. Or I'll tell you about something completely unrelated, and we can just talk. Because you look tired, too."

Together, they wandered up two flights of stairs, still walking in silence. Now on the third floor, Remus half-led the way to a corridor. He walked over to a rounded, wooden door and jiggled the handle. With a gentle click it opened, revealing what was once either an office or an old classroom. It wasn't as dusty as Narelle had imagined, but it wasn't spotless either. Desks and chairs were pushed to the edges of the classroom, a blackboard still standing proud on the north side of the room. There were multiple windows, though, on the opposite end from the door. They were taller than the ones in their usual classrooms—from floor to ceiling almost, giving a lovely look of the grounds. It was snowing gently and frost etched itself onto the glass, beautiful and intricate. Pushed up against one window was a table, a worn quilt draped over it.

"I used to come here a lot," he said gently as she stepped inside, closing the door behind her. "Mostly Peter and I. James and Sirius… they're attached at the hip, you know. Peter and I liked to get away sometimes and stumbled across this. We haven't come back as a pair since around fourth year, though."

"Fourth year seemed like quite a time for change," Narelle said quietly, almost absentmindedly, as she glanced around the room. He looked at her curiously, but didn't ask a clarifying question. She walked up to the blackboard, running her fingers over a stray line of chalk. It had been there for so long, it didn't even come off, as if it became a part of the board. Remus moved to sit on the table, leaning against the window as he watched Narelle, who looked over at him. "Do you think that when we're with something or someone for long enough, you become a part of them?" She didn't wait for his answer before studying the chalk, pressing her lips together. "I hope not."

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he called to her.

Narelle spun on her heel to walk over to the table. She didn't respond until she had hopped up onto it, crossing her legs, leaning into the stone outside of the window. She dropped her hands into her lap, looking out over the grounds.

"Nope," she said finally, before glancing at him. "Remus…"

He watched her with fear as she readjusted her posture, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear before taking a deep breath. She held it, looking at her hands, before looking back up again.

"I know I shouldn't ask, I…" she paused, choosing her words carefully. "Why did you react so… heavily… at your patronus?"

She watched him sigh, his shoulders slumping. His eyes left hers and looked out the window, and she suddenly felt extremely guilty. She knew she should have left it, knew that he didn't have to tell her. Why should she expect him to tell her something so personal when she couldn't tell him about her parents?

"I think that's a story for another time," he said softly, and she smiled gently at him.

"So I will get to know one day?" Narelle asked hopefully, widening her eyes at him. He let out a small, lovely laugh.

"If you stick around," he said quietly, and both of their facial expressions softened, each looking at each other. "So tell me about the badger."

"Jesus," she laughed sadly, burying her face in her hands. "I should have expected that question."

Remus shifted his position so he could face her, tucking one leg under the other. "Why did you gasp so loud?" he asked gently. "Wouldn't it be lovely to know that you're probably the truest Hufflepuff in years, maybe even decades?"

"I mean, _sure_ ," she huffed, shaking her head and looking up at him desperately. "But it's also awful. If it hadn't so blatantly there, everyone would think I'm faking it or doing it for attention, maybe even fame. It's such a cliché, to the point that even _I_ am unnerved by it. And, I mean…" she looked away, her face flushing. She felt tears brimming hot in her eyes. Each moment she spent sitting with him, she felt her usual filter slowly decay—she could end up accidentally spilling every thought of hers. "My dad… he would be so disappointed in me. He always has been. I've never been enough of a Gryffindor, never enough of _his_ daughter, never _actually_ his own kid." By now, her tears had broken free and her hands shook as she tried to quickly wipe them away, hoping Remus wouldn't notice. Yet, emotions are hard to conceal, especially ones so heartbreakingly honest. "He's got a new one now. A kid, I mean. And his name is Sean, and he's lovely from the pictures I've seen, and he's got this bright red hair and apparently all he does is adventure and try new things and laugh. His mom left, but he's still so strong. He's more of my father's kid than I've ever been, or ever could be.

"All I've ever wanted since my first night here was to make my parents proud. The first thing they did when they found out I was a Hufflepuff was tell me that maybe I could do better, that they were surprised, that they couldn't believe they had a kid who wasn't a Gryffindor. I felt so alone and I hated my house for months. I hated waking up every goddamn morning and tying my tie. I hated sitting with all of the Hufflepuffs. And then, one day, I got a letter from my father telling me that he never really _felt_ like I was a Gryffindor. He said I was too timid. And I just decided to be the most devout Hufflepuff I could be, you know? I barely told lies, I tried to be kind to everyone, I was quiet and gentle. It was just this constant thing lingering over my head, to just be as good of a Hufflepuff as possible. And then the other day, I had this flickering moment of hope that maybe my patronus would be something brave! A dragon, or—or a _bear_ , something ferocious and daring. And then you know what happens? A badger. My ticket onto a train forever away from my father."

Remus listened to her carefully, widening his eyes. He had never known someone to take on the idea of their house so heavily. Sure, there were some Gryffindors he knew that seemed heartbroken when they weren't "brave enough," but he always felt as if they were guidelines rather than rules. Then, here was this girl sitting in front of him, crying because of all of the weight her house put on her. He had always assumed that Hufflepuffs were the most carefree—until now, that idea seemed true. But he watched her wipe away her tears, try to breathe through her desperate need to sob, and he felt his heart break.

"Anyone who isn't proud of you is blind," he said carefully. She let out a watery laugh, sniffling as she looked at her hands.

"If I were your kid, I think it would be different."

"First of all," he laughed, "it would be _weird_ if you were my kid. Second of all, no, it wouldn't. I'm your teacher. At least… basically. I've taught you quite a bit with transfiguration and I've watched you grow. Not to mention we've gone to school together for _six years_ —"

"You didn't even know I existed until this year," she said pointedly, raising her brows. He looked stricken.

"What—? Of course I did!" he protested, widening his green eyes. She let out a soft, genuine laugh.

"You barely knew my name at the beginning of this year!" she giggled.

"I knew that you yelled at James last year in Divination," he pressed, and she laughed even harder, shaking her head.

"He was a git! Still is! Not my proudest moment, mind you. It wasn't very kind."

"It was very honest," Remus grinned, and she continued laughing, free of her tears.

He couldn't stop looking at her, and time seemed to slow. She was beautiful, even with her face flushed from the burst of emotion earlier. Her blue eyes were on his and shimmering and lovely, the soft light from outside making her face glow, the two of them staring at each other—

Remus didn't know why he did it. Maybe it was Sirius' voice in the back of his head, grinning as he said _You're a bloody Gryffindor. You go for it._ Maybe he was too tired, too scared of her finding him out, that it blurred every rule in his head. Maybe he was just that damn reckless. He didn't really care _why_ he did it, but until his dying day he would mark it as one of the bravest moments of his life. He found himself leaning towards her, his hand gently cupping her face. His fingers traced her jawline for a moment and she froze, her heart fluttering at his touch. He had her wrapped around his finger in that second as his fingers made their way to her hair. His mouth was on hers then, gentle but sudden. Narelle hesitated in shock for a minute before immediately reaching for his tie, pulling him closer. If she could describe it in one word, it would be _fireworks_. Her fingers made their way into his hair, his hands cupped her face, the two of them kissing deeply and desperately, as if it were their first and last. They kissed longer than either expected them to before pulling away slightly, looking at each other in fear. She knew he was the one to kiss first, but did he mean it? And he had felt that hesitation—did it make it less genuine?

Their mingling breath fogged up the window beside them, Remus' hands sliding down to her shoulders. Hers rested gently on his neck, their foreheads nearly touching as they searched the other's expression.

"Talk about an outburst," he murmured, and she let out a nervous laugh.

They fully pulled away then, both blushing as red as Christmas ornaments, looking down at their hands. Their knees had begun to press against each other but neither moved, again waiting for the other to speak. Everything was silent except for the almost inaudible sound of snow falling outside. There was a gentle murmur of students down below on their way about the school, the sun setting, the classroom they were in slowly dimming.

"Do you have a telephone?" Narelle stammered, looking up at him with wide eyes. He looked back at her, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Uh, yeah, my mum uses it mostly—" he murmured, but she cut him off.

"Do you want my telephone number?" she asked, feeling suddenly stupid. And 12-years-old. "I mean… in case you want to talk. Over the holidays."

"Are you sure?" he stammered, widening his eyes at her. She quickly stood, nodding as she walked over to her bag. She rummaged around before ripping a small piece of paper off some parchment and what looked to be a muggle pen. She quickly wrote a series of numbers on it, pressing her lips together.

"I'm sure," she nodded, before holding the slip of paper out to him. Her face was still bright red and he noticed her fingers trembling ever so slightly. He took it, a smile slowly spreading over his face, lighting it up. "I need to get down to the Hufflepuff common room—I need to see if I can be at Aria's for Christmas. Long story. Uh," she pulled her bag up onto her shoulder and she pressed her lips together in thought, brow creased. "Write me. Or phone me. Either works."

He nodded slowly, still smiling. "Okay."

She was taking a step back now, a smile firm on her face as she looked at him.

"I hope you have a lovely holiday."

"You too."

"I'll see you next year? You know, 1977?" He snorted out a laugh.

"Goodnight, Narelle."

She flashed him a wide smile, tucking some hair behind her head. They both hesitated for a moment before she gave him a small nod and turned, hurrying out of the classroom. He watched her, suddenly feeling how fast his heart was, and looked down at the parchment in his hands.


End file.
